The Waiting Game

Ahhh waiting.  You know, we spend a lot of our lives waiting.  Waiting for the light to change, waiting in the doctor's office, waiting for it to be time to get off of work, waiting to pay for your gas, etc. My favorite thing to wait for is phone calls (there may have been a little bit of sarcasm in that last one...)

Actually, I hate waiting on phone calls.  Return phone calls rarely ever happen at a convenient time.  Back before everyone and their mother had cell phones you could call to make a doctor's appointment or something, get the machine, and sit around the house for hours waiting on them to call you back.  Eventually you'd give up and leave the house to go get milk (or whatever it was you had to do as well that day), come home and oh look!  There's a message on the answering machine. Annndddd commence playing phone tag again.  *sigh*

Granted it's a little harder to miss an important call today than it was years ago.  Practically everyone has a cell phone now, and many use their cell phones as their primary phone (myself included).  Today though I still found myself waiting around for a phone call for most of the day (my phone typically does not accompany me into the restroom, and I don't like talking on my phone while driving especially if I'm going to need to write something down)... only there was a minor twist in the story.  While I was not plagued with the inconvenient return phone call today, it doesn't ring to be any less true.  It almost never fails! 

I swear there is a person (or persons) who's sole purpose in life is to wait until it's not convenient, and take that as the signal to return your phone call.  They probably have some sort of super high-tech command center too.  Perhaps it looks something like this:

"Oh it looks like Mary's leaving a dump!" (Yes I said leaving... what sort of sick freak takes one with them anyway? I never understood the term "taking a dump")
"Oh hey Tom just got in the shower!"
*initiate dialing sequence!!!*
*phone starts ringing*

Oh but these people are evil!! They don't stop at the inconvenient return phone call.  Oh no, that wouldn't be nearly enough torture.  Sometimes they'll wait until you're in the restroom or getting in the shower, make your phone ring so you run blazing through the house totally naked or with your pants down...

"Hello!  I am Sue with the Fraternal Order of Police! I was wondering if you had a moment to consider making a donation!"

...

So there I was... sitting... waiting...

I may have forgotten the month was almost over and my car needed inspected.  Well, I hadn't forgotten the whole month, but there was a slight miscommunication.  You see, I'm supposed to take my car to get inspected at my brother-in-law's (we shall call him Juan Pablo) mechanic and get them to do an estimate on fixing my sunroof (it's going to be my Christmas present. No more leaking car yay!)  A little earlier this month my sister (we shall call her Angela, because I do not know if she'd kill me for using her real name or not) texts me:

Angela: Hey when does your inspection run out?
Me: End of this month
Angela: Ok we need to set it up then

I interpreted this as, they were going to set up the appointment with their mechanic and let me know when to be there.  So this past Thursday I realized the month is almost over and I need to get the inspection done (whoops!) so I text to ask if I should just set up the inspection with the other dude or what.

Angela: We were waiting on you to tell us you're ready.
Me: I've been ready I was waiting on you guys!

(See!  More waiting!!!)

Angela:  Let me get the number from Juan Pablo.
Angela: Number is 555-555-9879

I forget Friday to call, so I called today and got a voicemail. 

"Hello! You have reached 555-555-9879. Please leave your name, number and a detailed message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"

"Hello!  My name is Nikki and I was told to call and tell you I was Juan Pablo's sister-in-law. I was told he spoke to you about inspecting my car and giving an estimate on what it would cost to fix my sunroof?  If you could call me back at your earliest convenience it would be greatly appreciated! My number is 555-555-4481"

Now that's an odd voicemail for a mechanic I think... but I've contacted smaller businesses who have had messages like that or forgot to set up their new voicemail or something. So I wait.  And wait... and wait... and text Angela.

Me: This waiting sucks! I've been waiting for the mechanic to call me back all day! I had to leave a voicemail. I need to get in the shower and go to the pharmacy but I KNOW the second I go to do either I'll get the phone call.
Angela: A voicemail? We've never had to leave a voicemail. You sure you dialed the right number?
Me: Uhh yeah...  555-555-9879 right? That's the number you gave me.
Angela: Ummm... oops. The number might actually be 9878, not the number I gave you LOL! Don't blame me, blame Juan Pablo!

/facepalm (in their defense though, if you googled the mechanic's shop one of the entries does say 9879, so it's not totally their fault lol.)

Well that at least explained why they weren't calling me back!! So I basically spent all day waiting to get in the shower and go to the pharmacy until the mechanic called me back so I could get my car inspected before the end of the month... yet I hadn't even called the right number!

Oh, and to the poor dude who I called and left a voicemail with, sorry!!! Although I'm sure since it is listed wrong on one of the Google link thingys he's probably used to it.

Have you heard the words?

I couldn't really resist this topic, as it's something that's popped into my mind off and on over the years.  Well, that and I've had copious amounts of caffeine and am easily amused at the moment.  Hopefully you find it amusing too and share with your friends!  If not, that's cool too.  But anyway *ahem*.

So I was playing Chefville with my lovely mumsie earlier, and there's these catering "missions" you have to do.  One of the objectives is to make 15 chilly gazpachos. 

The conversation went something like this:

Me: Gazpacho is fun to say.  Say it out loud!  "Gahs-pah-cho"
Mom: lol you're weird but I love you LMAO
Me:  Did you say it out loud? It's awesome.  "gahs-pah-cho"
Mom:  Yes honey  <(^.^)>
Me:  <(^.^)>
Mom:  What does it mean?
Me: Gazpacho (Spanish pronunciation: [gasˈpatʃo]) is usually a tomato-based, vegetable soup, traditionally served cold, originating in the southern Spanish region of Andalucía. Gazpacho is widely consumed in Spanish cuisine, as well as in neighboring Portugal, where it is known as gaspacho (Portuguese pronunciation: [gɐʃˈpaʃu]). Gazpacho is mostly consumed during the summer months, due to its refreshing qualities and cold serving temperature.

Hmm.. makes calling it "chilly gazpacho" sort of redundant doesn't it? Since it's traditionally served cold... I am going to call them redundant soups from now on.

 

*time passage*

Me: While doing some research on redundancies in the English language, I also came across some interesting stuff!!!

Mom: Oh no

(heh does she know me or what?)

This got me thinking of other redundancies we have in the English language and got me to do a little research.  Did you know that a redundant expression is also called a pleonasm?  I didn't either!!  That's also kind of fun to say out loud... "plee-oh-nasm"...

Some of these terms I hadn't really even given a lot of thought to really as they're used quite commonly.  But if you really stop to think about some of them... they don't really make a lot of sense.

PIN number: Personal Identification Number number?

ATM machine:  Automated Teller Machine machine?

AC or DC current:  Alternate Current current or Direct Current current?

LCD display: Liquid Crystal Display display

VIN number: Vehicle Identification Number number

Then we have these lovely phrases!!

"Free gift."  Last I checked, gifts were usually free, yes?

"Unexpected surprise." Well, if you were expecting it, it really wouldn't be a surprise now would it?

"When the baby was born."  As opposed to... adults being born?

"Armed gunman." As opposed to an unarmed gunman?

(To borrow from the late, great George Carlin) "I said, I'd like to buy a hot water heater.  What the hell for? Hot water doesn't need to be heated.  You must mean a cold water heater!?.. or how about a hot water cooler?"

 

And gems like foreign imports, cease and desist, empty hole, same exact, live studio audience, looking back in hindsight, serious danger...

I could probably go on, but I think it was just neat to take a step back and think about some of the really odd things we say without really putting a lot of thought into what we are actually saying. Just a thing to make you go hmmmm...

 

 

 

Lions, tigers, and hypocrisy oh my!

Ok so my first masterpiece I think will be written about an article I've had on a Facebook tab for days just waiting to write about... but I hadn't yet came up with a title for my blog.  In hindsight, I could have written everything up and had it ready to go, but I suppose this is good because I've had some time to really try to gather thoughts on it.  The first bit of information is taken nearly verbatim from the article I linked, followed by my thoughts / opinions on the matter.

If you haven't heard about it, there was a woman named Lori Stodghill who on New Year's Day of 2006 was 7 months pregnant with twin boys and feeling sick when she arrived at St. Thomas More hospital in Canon City. She was vomiting and short of breath and passed out as she was being wheeled into an examination room. Attempts to resuscitate her were not successful (it only became clear later on that her main artery to her lungs was clogged, which then lead to a massive heart attack).  Her obstetrician, who was also the emergency on call that night, never answered his page.  Mrs. Stodghill died less than an hour after she arrived and her twins died in her womb. http://coloradoindependent.com/126808/in-malpractice-case-catholic-hospital-argues-fetuses-arent-people

Now the hospital where Mrs. Stodghill went is run by Catholic Health Initiatives, an Englewood based nonprofit which also runs about 170 other health facilities in 17 states. The Catholic Health Initiative's facilities seek to follow Religious Directives of the Catholic Church authored by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.  This does include forbidding non-natural birth control and abortions.  "Catholic health care ministry witnesses to the sanctity of life 'from the moment of conception until death.'"  Keep that in mind for a moment will you?

So basically, according to the Catholic Church, the very moment a child is conceived... like the exact second a sperm manages to swim and battle the trenches of the vagina, through the uterus, finds its way to an egg and penetrates the wall of the egg, thus fertilizing said egg... it is considered to them to be a human being and thus is sacred and has all rights to life correct?  And to these people, abortion of any form is murder, since the cell is then considered a human being with... you know the right to life and stuff.

Now, the surviving husband had filed a wrongful-death lawsuit against Catholic Health Initiatives (now on referred to as CHI) that runs the hospital.  Lori's husband Jeremy and his attorney allege that the doctor on call should have made it to the hospital, or at least instructed the emergency room staff to perform an emergency C-section.  It probably wouldn't have helped Lori, but it may have very well saved the twins.

CHI has been fighting this lawsuit alleging... get this... "should not overturn the long-standing rule in Colorado that the term ‘person,’ as is used in the Wrongful Death Act, encompasses only individuals born alive. Colorado state courts define ‘person’ under the Act to include only those born alive. Therefore Plaintiffs cannot maintain wrongful death claims based on two unborn fetuses."

Yes.  CHI is saying that the surviving husband / father cannot sue or is not entitled to damages of his unborn seven month old nearly ready to be born but not yet born still in the womb twins because they are not yet... you know born alive and therefore human beings with rights to life.  If you're anything like me you'll need a minute to wrap your head around that.

So it's ok for them to argue that all life is sacred from the moment of conception... unless it's going to cost us money, in which case they are merely fetuses and not yet human beings with a right to live.

Now, keep in mind I have nothing against any organized religion, nor am I bashing any religion (I have my own beliefs which are really not relevant here). I have friends who are Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Atheist, Pastafarians, etc.  I have a problem with all hypocrites, regardless of religious affiliation / color / gender / immigration status / etc.  And the argument CHI is using is 100% legally on point.  Legally, a fetus is not considered to be a human being with all of the same rights as persons born alive.  There are outstanding circumstances/exceptions yes, where people have been tried for murder for killing a pregnant woman and her unborn child (which varies from state to state).  Mind you, most if not all of those cases involve a fetus being murdered as a result of a violent act (Scott Peterson is a very good fairly recent example of this) and not simply not acting upon a medical situation.

IMO, this hurts credibility of the church in my eyes.  How can you argue one moment life beings at the moment of conception, but argue that since someone wasn't yet born alive they are not yet human beings nor deserving of right to life?  If their message and beliefs were so important and sacred to them, they should have been like "Hey dude, there was nothing we could do for your wife, but that doctor seriously fucked up and someone should have done an emergency C-section and tried to save your boys." (ok maybe not in those exact words but still.)  But no. Everything I've been able to find on the situation basically states the twins very well could have survived had the hospital acted sooner.  Perhaps there are other circumstances not disclosed.  I'm sure we do not know all of the information, but still.  I. Can't. Stand. Hypocrites. Pick a stance and stick to it, don't change your mind just because it's not convenient for you at the time.  Perhaps there's something I am missing here, and if there is please feel free to let me know.

Greetings and salutations!!

Ahhh after so much time here it is!  My blog.  My sweet, sweet blog.  My very own space to write whatever I want, speak my mind, vent, share in humiliating situations, things I find hilarious and want to share with you all, etc.  I realize to start off this will actually be more like talking to myself until more of you wonderful people discover my little corner of the internet, but I will speak to all you future awesome people anyway.

So here's the deal.  I am going to be writing about many things.  I will be writing about everything from current events, to some idiot that just cut me off on the highway, to the lady at the register that actually believed I was going to pay for my gas with a million dollar bill saying "oh.. umm... do you have anything smaller? If I gave you everything in the store it wouldn't amount to enough for change", to me locking my keys in the house.  Silly things my friends say / do, and possibly one day I will able to include sharing interesting stories involving my future family (as I'm currently not married nor do I have any minions... er I mean children of my own). I will share funny memories, humiliating stories (involving myself and other people... I mean, because I would never do anything humiliating *hairflip*).

Keep in mind also that while I will probably do a bit of "ranting" about average everyday type stuff and then some, my usual style involves a lot of satire, snark, sarcasm and occasional swearing... the 4 S's.  I will occasionally partake in the use of redundant sentences or statements to get a point across.  I am not an English major, but I try my best to use proper punctuation, grammar, etc and not butcher the English language.  I am not racist, prejudiced, sexist, nor do I have anything against any religion or political affiliation.

That being said, if you are easily offended please go away (see I even said please!).  You could ask anyone that knows me, I am not an angry nor hateful person.  Surprisingly I'm quite the opposite.  I am very warm-hearted, kind and considerate of others and their feelings (unless the person is one of those idiotic hypocrite-like self entitled douchenozzles, in which case they probably need to be offended and said person needs to get over themselves and get a helmet). 

If as time goes on you like what I have to say / how I have to say it, or even if you don't... leave a message or comment!  As long as you're not being an idiotic hypocritical racist douchenozzle, I welcome any and all feedback, good and bad and will leave it up.  If you see an article / current event / have an experience you would like my take on please let me know!  I actually enjoy hearing other people's points of view, perspectives, perceptions, beliefs, etc.  I believe that being open minded to other things that are not necessarily what you believe, and being able to at least try to see the other person's perspective, makes you a richer and better person.