Chapter 1: Where Do We Begin to Fix All This... Mess?

Hello you beautiful, magnificent, wonderful people! Yes I'm talking to you! It's been too long. Do you think I could trouble you for a few moments of your time? I ask if you can give me just a couple paragraphs after this intro at least, and then if I haven't grabbed your attention at all, feel free to hit the X if you wish? That's fair, right? The amount of things that have happened over the past few years is just insane, hence the lack of writing. Between family stuff, moving just under 4,000 miles total, health and other stuff, I've just really needed to take some time and do some soul searching, or whatever you want to call it. Currently, I've been fighting to get a suspected tear in my Achilles an MRI for the past few months, but between the incompetent people in the ortho office referring me to a private psychiatric rehab facility that does not do outpatient MRIs and taking over 4 people more than 5 weeks to change it to a place that actually does do outpatient MRIs, then them having the wrong body parts and codes, and the way the health care system in California is, it's been lacking and insanely painful and stressful to say the least (after deciding to go back and actually finish this, almost a year later, the medical situation hasn't improved any. Yay California?). But enough about me for now, there's an emergency situation unfolding this very moment, and you and I are the only people that can do anything about it. Sounds like a lot of pressure I know, but if we work together, it's totally achievable! So let's do what we normally do, grab a beverage of your choice, get comfy, and hear me out, and perhaps instead of "Making America Great Again", we can instead just dust off the dirt and see that everything we needed to do so, was right there the whole time.

(Disclaimer, I started this entry on June 4th of 2018, and just polished it up as of this publishing. This is just one piece, and this first one is a bit more calming, but there is some anger I'll need to get out later.)

"But Nikki, isn't saying there's an emergency situation unfolding a little bit melodramatic?"

I suppose the answer to that depends on how you view the current state of things in our world today, especially just here in the great ole' U S of A.

"Well, what exactly is so bad?"

Where do I start with regards to what's wrong, or otherwise been going down the drain?

America has long been looked to as a beacon of freedom and opportunity. A chance for everyone to achieve whatever dream they had, so long as they put in the work to get there. A place where you can come from nothing, and end up with so much more. To speak your mind without fear of being persecuted or locked up, simply for stating how you feel or standing up for what's right. To be free to worship however you so choose or feel, also with no fears of persecution, imprisonment, or death. A symbol of hope and justice for the world.

But today, that's not how things are my friends. "We the People" doesn't exist anymore... it's "us vs. them". You can't say anything anymore it seems without having to worry about who you're offending, or who's attacking who. Hell, even disagreeing with someone anymore has somehow turned into a personal attack against people you don't even know. Different views aren't just different views or opinions, it's "fake news". Anything that someone doesn't agree with, or simply a different viewpoint is automatically fake or a personal attack. And if you don't agree with someone? It automatically means you're "the enemy". Someone with a different opinion apparently completely justifies said person opening up an all out personal attack against you or even threatening you, even though you were not even remotely making any attack on their person whatsoever. We live in a world where it's totally ok to flat out lie about virtually anything, and all you have to do is slap on the label "alternative facts" and all is well!

You can't even talk to one another anymore. Let's just say for example sake, let's pretend Trump makes a comment such as: "We need to kill all the ducks, they're downing airplanes left and right! This must be stopped!", and someone goes "See how evil Trump is! He's a duck murderer!", and instead of talking about this particular incident, someone goes "Oh yeah? Well Obama/Hillary said... blah blah blah!" You can't get through to anyone nowadays, no matter the "side". No one wants to acknowledge the harsh or unfavorable truths if it's their "side", but they're perfectly fine with pointing out the other "side"'s unfavorable truths and faults. People, that's not how we get things done. This isn't how we fix things or improve them. If we keep continuing down this path, nothing will get accomplished. At best, things stay as stagnant as they are, at worst they... well... get worse (which is has).

No one seems to care about facts anymore. When I was a kid, if you wanted to do some research, you had to get to the local library (by either driving or having someone drive you), get a library card if you didn't have one, and look for the book or newspaper you want. If it wasn't there, you had to request the book, wait for it to come into your local library, go pick it up, bring it back when you were done, etc. Today, you can literally sit on your toilet and look at books in libraries and such on the other side of planet... all from the comfort of your own bathroom!! That's right folks! While you're dropping a deuce, taking the Browns to the Superbowl, deploying the USS Brownfish, releasing the Kraken, making a deposit at the stank bank, or however you want to say it, you can essentially access nearly infinite information from nearly any corner of the world! It's so much easier to find facts today than when I was a kid, yet, no one wants to actually verify things for themselves. You don't have to spend hours, you can just take 5 or 10 minutes of your time, that's it. Sure, there's a number of actual fake news sites, (not just simply someone calling a site/station fake news simply because they don't agree with them) satirical news sites, etc. But it's not really that difficult to find non-biased, trustworthy places to find simply the facts, without any sort of personal feelings or bias in it.

I am registered Independent. I don't care what party someone is, if they have good ideas and I like what they have to say, I'll vote for them. I don't believe for an instant that one "side" is ruining the country over another. I believe that the answers to all our issues largely lays in the center, not left or right. I recall one day, about the time Trump tweeted out that the time for DACA recipients was over, and the general tone of the tweet was along the lines of "blame the Dems, they wouldn't work with us, they don't care about you, we cared about you, and it's their fault that you're now screwed, not ours.", and I'd made a comment saying that while I'm not all for illegal immigration, that I did not think it was right, and that I actually felt it was downright cruel, to deport someone who was brought here as a child, and had no choice in the matter. Someone who grew up here in America, and likely had no ties to their parents' native country, and may not even speak the language or have any rights there, and knows no home but America should not be deported because their parents made the choice to bring them here illegally. They should be given the chance to work for their citizenship and earn it. I was met by a barrage of tweets calling me everything but a human. Anything along the lines of how I was a "fucking Libtard", or how I was "what's wrong with this country", or how I "shouldn't breed because your libtardness is the disease infecting this country"; things along those lines.

For one like I said, I am registered Independent, and I don't care about parties. The two party system is part of what is dividing this country today. But just because I wasn't of the Trumpian mindset of "lock 'em all up and deport all the illegal bastards", I'm automatically labeled as a "libtard" and the enemy. And it's not just the conservatives that do it either. I've been called or referred to as a "republicunt" for some of my stances as well. From my personal experiences, it does indeed seem in the past especially, the "right" side did seem to be far more hateful and threatening than the "left", but honestly, since I started writing this, a little over a year ago, both sides have gotten worse in general.

People, this needs to stop. The thing with "sides" needs to stop. This needs to stop being about "us vs. them", and more about "us" as a whole. The more you allow the government, media, famous people, your dentist, whoever, to keep feeding you lines to make you angry and invoke your emotions and feelings, instead of a more rational and level mind looking for actual factual information and not talking points or memes or pictures anyone could make up in their basement (or restroom, wherever the trolls like to do their work anymore), the worse things are going to get. Things aren't getting any better, they're only getting worse.

"Ok Nikki, you're pointing out problems, how do we fix this?"

First, you have to want to fix it. The fact of the matter is, the more we allow people to invoke our emotional feelings and have us attacking each other instead of working together to fix the problems, the longer it is that nothing gets fixed. Here's some starting points (but by no means are these all we have to do to fix the way things are):

1. Breathe. If you see something online that really starts boiling your blood, pause, breathe, and dig into the subject matter more. If it's an article headline, actually read the article. I can't even tell you how many times I've seen people comment only on an article title and not actually read the darn article. Sometimes just reading the article and looking at the words/evidence/whatever presented could have easily solved that person's anger.

2. Consider your sources. I seen someone tell me on twitter that sources don't matter, only facts. Not entirely true. If you have Bob over here that tends to spew things out of his mouth as fact before verifying if he has the truth or not, and then you have Bobby over there who tends to not open his mouth right away because he wants more information before he comments, who are you seriously more likely to trust? Who's more likely to have looked at the facts before reporting them? And don't just use one source, look at a few! Look at ones you don't even like too much. I have places I trust more than others, but I never just stop at one source, especially for things that are important to me.

3. Realize that someone having a different opinion or registration or whatever, doesn't make them an enemy, it just means they have a different feeling opinion. What's important here is that we all keep in mind, we all have different life experiences. Any of you that have read my older stuff may have seen that I've mentioned before that I was raped by a black man nearly 20 years ago. Some would argue I'd have a reason to be fearful/hateful toward black persons, but you know what? I don't. It was a single individual who did that to me, not a race, not a gender. But even if I was fearful of blacks, it was my life experience, so maybe that's why I feel the way that I do (even though it's not). It's amazing what you can learn by just talking to people from different walks of life, cultures, etc. I have friends of every race, religion, sexual identity/orientation... hell I have friends in/from England, Germany, Canada, Mexico, Indonesia, India, Australia, Pakistan, Iran, etc., and I can't even begin to tell you how much I've learned from every one of them. It doesn't mean I change my mind or that I have to, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but I've at least learned a lot, which brings me to:

4. Keep in mind that just because you're listening to what someone from another "side" or "stance" is saying, that doesn't mean that you hereby compelled or demanded to chance your thoughts/feelings right on that instant! Just because you listen to what someone who has differing opinions has to say, doesn't mean you have to change your mind or feelings. Just hear them out, see why they feel the way they do. Even if you don't agree with their feelings or thoughts, perhaps at least you can understand where they're coming from, and maybe be able to come to an understanding and work together to fix something. The more we allow those in higher positions of power (government, media, people with fame, whatever) to keep reminding us why we should be angry and fighting each other, the less time we spend holding those accountable who are responsible for this mess to begin with. The longer we fight each other over religion, abortion, race issues, immigration, whatever, the less time we're spending holding those who can fix issues accountable for actually doing something to solve our problems. Am I saying these things should never be discussed or that there's no problems? Absolutely not! But there's a healthy productive way to do this, and an unhealthy not-productive way to do this.

And for now...

5. If someone's having a civil conversation with you and/or picking your brain on your stances/why you feel the way you do about ______ topic, allow them the same courtesy in explaining their views/stances. Don't be a greedy, selfish asshole.

I realize a lot of this might sound like I'm asking people to gather together in a circle, hold hands and sing Kumbaya, but I'm really not asking that. Just breathe, please. We NEED to get out of this mentality where we see anyone who sees or thinks or feels differently than we do as the enemy. We need to stop fighting each other and start holding those in power accountable for their failures, lies, broken promises, etc. Stop seeing people who aren't a carbon copy of you, your life, your beliefs, your thoughts and feelings, as the enemy and see people for who we really all are... we're all flawed, we all make mistakes, none of us are perfect, but we're all human. We come in different packaging, we may speak different languages, follow different religions/belief sets, be attracted to different people, but at the end of the day we're all essentially the same. And yeah, some humans are seriously just the worst assholes right? But hey, assholes come in all sorts of packaging too, just as do decent people.

Anyway, that's all for this moment. The next installment will hopefully come far sooner than previously haha! Until then, please just remember to breathe, ok? Pause, breathe, and let's figure this shiz out before things get any worse eh?

Attention Fellow Humans! Emergency! Danger, Danger, Warning, Warning! (robot voice)

This is a temporary public service announcement, or something. In light of the primary elections, and the things going on around us today, I've finally kicked myself in the butt and am taking a crack at this again. There's been a lot, and I do mean a lot going on since the last time I've published anything.

We have a serious problem, and it's not getting any better. And if I'm to be honest, I'm actually quite terrified of the way things are today and where they're going.

By the end of the day, hopefully sooner, I should have the new blog published. I'm a multitasking fool at the moment!!!

To be continued...

The State of Our Nation: Tensions are Rising

***** ANOTHER SUPER IMPORTANT UPDATE! ***** (Update added April 21, 2021)

Holy hell where do I even start with this entry? If you're reading this more recently, please keep in mind that I did have the best intentions at the time when I wrote this. My world view was much smaller, I wasn't as good at researching and digging, and with age also comes wisdom and maturity... or so we hope for most.

I have never, ever been one to harbor any hatred in my heart toward anyone regardless of race, gender, religion, or whatever else. Assholes come in all shapes, sizes, colors, races, genders, religions, sexual orientations or whatever... but so do good people. My worldview when I wrote this was more... "whitewashed" I guess? I mean, I also wasn't aware of the fact that the "Oathkeepers" were actually legit a white supremacist group either. I could've understood if their literal intent was to only protect property and nothing else, but oh what we learn over the course of like, 6 years eh?

Anyways, if you're a PoC reading this in modern times, please don't hate me or crucify me (in a matter of speaking), at least please read my more recent blog post from April 2021 before rendering judgement. None of us can bring change in the world without being the change, learning and growing, listening to others and their experiences, etc. I hope in comparing this writing to a more recent one shows I've grown a lot since writing this, and I hope to continue growing throughout life. As with my "Wimpification" blog entry, I'm leaving the original for the time being unedited (even though I really, really want to edit like, the whole thing) in the hopes that it can show people, I hope, that we can all learn, grow and change, and that it's ok to not be perfect or have all of the answers, and most of us don't change totally overnight... but as long as we're constantly trying to learn, grow, and evolve and willing to do so, we can do some great things together as a society! Much love!!

***** END OF ANOTHER SUPER IMPORTANT UPDATE *****

I'm not going to BS you, not that I do, but this is likely going to be a novel. So if you normally, or for some reason only today have the attention span of a gnat you might want to just hit the x right now.  I didn't mean that in an insulting way either, there's plenty of days I maybe have half the attention span of a gnat, it happens.  I just figured I'd give you a heads up.  Maybe you hate reading.  If you do, again, there's going to be a lot of it here.  There also may be some rather colorful language, which isn't unheard of when it comes to my little blog, but I've tried to use less profanity to get my point across.  This however, this subject right here is just something that has really left my jaw on the floor and with me sitting here for like, two days just shaking my head in disbelief. I'm floored!!  That's not the easiest task to do either, I mean I learned long ago not to say something like, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen/heard of!."  Why?  Because every time I've said that, someone hears it and thinks it's a challenge and has to go out and top that.  After a few million rounds of this I finally learned not to say such things, because in time, someone will top it without a doubt.

I want to ask all of you, all... two of you who probably read this, to bear with me.  Grab a cup of coffee or tea or something, or a beer if that's your thing, and prop your feet up.  Have a seat, open your mind, hear me out, and please... if anyone can make sense of this for me, please get in touch!!  No I'm serious, because I really cannot fathom any of this and I wish I could understand.  Now, first, I am going to tell and show you what I seen on this page.  After the ******, I'm going to go into actual thoughts and feelings, and that's where I could really use any enlightenment if anyone has any.  I don't care what color you are, where you're from, your gender, anything. If you can open-mindedly and calmly discuss this with me, maybe we can both learn from each other.  If you're uninterested in reading what I seen/uncovered on the Facebook page, just skip to the ********** part.  Please, I ask you, human to human, if you read anything at least read what's past the ****'s, read it all, and help me out here.

*cracks knuckles*

Ok so.  Unless you've been living under a rock (which is looking more and more appealing by the day, by the way...) you've been no doubt noticing the sheer number of "young, innocent, unarmed black children" being murdered by the police.  Like me, you've also probably noticed that it seems that they are occurring in greater frequency lately over the past few years.  Note, seems. Are they actually occurring in greater frequency, or are they just being reported in greater frequency?  Hard to say, and I won't really form an opinion on that without cold, hard, indisputable facts. What I can say, is I have noticed them more.

Now... yesterday a friend of mine shared an image.  The image was a series of pictures (which I'm not sure I want to put up) stating something along the lines of "While the police are murdering our children and people are doing this, that and the other thing, the one great power we have in unity." Or something, and at the bottom had a picture of a black arm, and a white arm holding hands.  I was all like, hell yeah!!!  One of his friends commented and said "lol at the comments."  So what do I do, I hadn't noticed the Facebook page source for the image, nor did I click on the image originally and look at the comments.  So, I click on the image, and I start reading the comments...

Almost every comment was some variation of "down with krackaz, black power, kill whitey blah blah blah."  I then looked up and seen the page source, and realize I'd stumbled upon a Black supremacist site. Hmm.. that explains why there's people on there saying that message was disgusting, the nerve of suggesting that the mighty black people should ever stoop to join hands with the white devil.

I'm going to note here, btw, I am in no way saying that all blacks feel this way, just as all whites are not racist, blah blah blah. The number however is insanely startling.

I start looking at the page.  My jaw is on the floor.  My brain explodes.  These are examples of some of the things I've read (some explained, some screen shots, sometimes you just have to see):

*Image of "Blacks Law Dictionary, Blacks are not considered citizens and are still considered slaves by the government".  It cites the Dread Scott case, which stated (many eons ago) that Blacks brought here and sold as slaves were not considered citizens and was ruled so by the Supreme Court.  This is widely cited and used as examples of the WORST decision to ever befall the US Supreme court, and not too long after was overturned/superceded by The 14th Amendment to the Constitution!!!  Hey, a friggin constitutional amendment was made grinding in stone that ya'll are citizens and have equal rights.  Why are you using past shit to try to further hate, when it's not remotely true anymore?  Then there's this gem...

There's posts about how the US is supposedly gearing up to throw blacks into concentration type camps "called FEMA camps".  There's posts talking about how the "Oathkeepers" or whoever they are, the white armed dudes in Ferguson are only there to intimidate and scare the blacks into submission, and how they care more about property than black lives.

Uhhh... regardless of whether or not I agree with what and how they're there, they are there to protect the friggin shops and property from all the friggin fires and looters!!!  HELLOOOO!!!  They want to protect their communities and people too!  Stop setting stores and stuff from innocent business owners on fire and quit with the vandalism, looting and stuff and maybe no one will feel the need to protect it!!!  How is that so hard to understand?!??!  Like, you really think it's ok to loot, vandalize and set stores on fire of innocent people, yet you are complaining when those people stand up to protect their property??  Think about it.  How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?  Would you sit there and allow people to just go destroy your businesses and do nothing?  Nope.

On that same topic, the "Oathkeepers" or whatever, there's comments "If those were blacks they'd be locked up."  You know, I can't respond to that really because I don't know. But the response to that was things like "Five scout sniper teams with 200 black men with AK's. Would scare the fucking shit out of them.", and another comment talking about how they need to "break their soldiers out of prison and arm them" and fight, and in the same breath nearly talking about how the media would twist it to "make the black man look bad and more violent."  If you respond with violence, that's what you get.  If you point a gun in someone's face don't expect to not get shot.  If you stick your hand in oil don't expect to not get burned.  Think people!!

Like, nearly everyone on that page (and it's got an alarming number of followers) thinks white man is the devil and just holding the black man down.  That we're all nothing but a bunch of "pink pigs" or racist scum or whatever who are secretly planning a race war to murder all the blacks and stuff like that.

The amount of hate was insane!!!!

*******************************************************************************

Now.  Here is what I don't get. It doesn't help we live in an entitled society today.  Our own government doesn't take any responsibility, so the masses think, why should I?  Entitled, won't accept any blame or responsibility for their own part in an act or situation, etc.

Part of this maybe is because I'm a blonde haired, blue eyed chick who spent most of her life in the country and I just don't understand.  But I think that works both ways.

One of the best friends I've ever had in my life is black. He's my lil' bro. I freaking love him like he is my brother, hence the name of course. We've talked in lengths about how differently we grew up and how differently we see a lot of the world. Honestly, neither one of us is 100% right.  If I'm recalling this correctly, he's explained to me that he pretty much grew up in a more urban environment and was pretty much taught in a lot of circumstances to be uneasy around white people especially. He was pretty much taught that a lot of white people don't necessarily see blacks or whoever as equals. He explained how just sitting on the bus you gotta pretty much be suspicious of all the white folk on there.  I on the other hand have never encountered such a thing.  I don't mean with people being suspicious of me, but I mean with whites supposedly looking down on blacks as being inferior or unequal.  I'm fairly certain if that was the main wish, being white, I'd be privy to some of this information.  The truth is, I think I've encountered maybe one, maybe two "racist" people in my entire life that were white.  Most of us honestly do not care what color your skin is, or where you're from.  If you're a good person, you're a good person!  If you're an asshole, you're an asshole.

About the uneasy looks thing.  If I'm in a room with 20 people from all colors and countries, the one that looks uneasily toward me, I'm going to be uneasy with as well.  Now, does that mean those people who may have looked at my lil' bro uneasily always have good intent? No I'm not saying that.  Mostly though, if you have someone acting all uneasy around you, they're not going to be all that open either. This is a people thing, this is a basic survival thing. When you're open, warm and welcoming to someone else, odds are you'll get that back.  Not always, I know a lot of city mentality is "get out of my way, hurry hurry, blah blah I'm important", but odds are you're not going to be glared at suspiciously.

Now, to address blacks being "held down" or "held back".  I've heard quite a few times that when blacks gained rights, and segregation was ended, they were essentially herded into cities to keep them in poverty and try to keep them from succeeding. Do I want to believe this?  No.  Sadly, it's entirely possible. I will give them that.  I'm not saying it's fact, but I'm not denying the possibility that it is fact at all.  There was a time our government said they weren't citizens or had rights, there was a time our government seen fit to segregate, so I can't see it being impossible that they'd do that, and I hate to say it.

Do you, fellow black human beings, have a more difficult time?  It's entirely possible you have, and for that I am sorry. I am sorry that your people have been treated unfairly.  I am sorry that for any point in time you were ever treated like secondary human beings, or made to feel at any point you are less human or less important.  But you are not alone, you are not the only one who's angry, you are not standing all by yourselves in this.  You are not the only race to ever be sold as slaves (indeed, it's insanely likely throughout history whites owned more white slaves than blacks), you're not the only ones to have been victims of genocide or oppression.  Stop thinking that you're alone, you're not.  Stop allowing yourselves to be victims.  Stop being victims. You have to own your own in this too though (don't bail on me now, hear me out.)

Slavery was wrong.  You are not the only race of human beings to ever be enslaved. There were slaves in ancient Greece.  Rome had slaves that came from all over Europe and the Mediterranean (typically white or "white-ish" slaves).  The Viking slave trade in medieval times primarily consisted of English, Irish, and Scottish slaves, while in the East they were mainly Slavs. Christians sold Muslims into slavery as Muslims also sold Christians into slavery. Really, just take a minute and look into it, you are not alone!!!  Did you also know that at the peak of black slavery in the South, only 6 percent of Southern whites owned slaves? If you include the white people in the North, it means that only 1.4 percent of white Americans owned black slaves at the HEIGHT of slavery.  Did you also stop and consider that "white devil" didn't just go up into Africa and kidnap a bunch of blacks unwillingly?  Did you know that it was actually the black Africans who sold their own people to the "white devil"?  Wait!!  Don't go running off now... I'm possibly not taking this where you think it's going.

I am by no means saying slavery in the US was solely the fault of the black Africans who sold their own people into slavery.  But all I keep hearing is how everything that has happened to blacks in the US is the fault of the "krakas" or whatever.  Yes, evil mean white dudes or whatever a really long ass time ago had black slaves (in the 1600's there were actually mainly white slaves in the US, did you know that?) Yes some of the slaves were treated horribly.  Yes, a lot were treated like second class human beings.  Yes, they were denied the same rights and freedoms as the "crackas". But for the love of all that is Holy, you are not the only ones!!!

WAKE. UP.  We are not your enemy. More white people have risked their lives for your freedoms (underground railroad, etc.) than have fought to keep you oppressed. More of us stand beside you against those who do not treat you equally than work against you or want to "keep you down."  Back to what I was saying earlier, let's say that with the "Hey, ya'll deserve these freedoms and rights" stuff and the end of legal segregation that you were sort of forced to live in cities and be poor and have a harder time in life.  There's some ugly ass blemishes on the history of this country, but open your eyes and look around you!  There's a lot of people who grew up in really shitty circumstances and put into bad spots or given a really bad start. You have so many people standing WITH you! You have the opportunities to get out there and dig your heels in and change things. You don't have to stay where you're at if you're in a bad spot. Study, get good grades, go to college.  Being white doesn't automatically get you a pass, trust me. Now will that magically fix things?  No.  But trust me, the actual amount of white racist assholes is so insanely small it's not even funny.  I've seen more vile, hatred spewed forth from blacks to whites than I have seen the other way around.  I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but you cannot fight fire with fire, you cannot fight hate with hate.  Well ok, on the fire with fire thing that's half true. If it's a forest fire, it is common practice for firefighters to burn an area ahead of the fire so it then has no where to spread.  But I'm not talking about forest fires.  I'm talking about your kitchen.  If your kitchen is on fire, and you use fire to fight it, you're just going to have twice as much fire and not get anywhere and burn your friggin house down.  I don't understand how anyone can sit there and say "the white devil hate us and wants to murder us all and they're just a bunch of racist crackaz blah blah blah", and not realize that the very hate they want to stop, is exactly what they're keeping alive.  Where in the hell do they even get these ideas?!?  Internment camps?  REALLY?!?!

Take a child that is abused for example. Up until a point, the state of that child, its mental health, maybe physical health, whatever, is a result of the abusive parent.  You can blame that abusive parent to a point.  There becomes a point where that child has to wake up and choose whether or not they're going to allow themselves to be a victim and keep blaming everyone else, or start taking responsibility for their own futures.  They need to choose not to be a victim. Sure, I make it sound easy.  It's not.  But if you continue to sit there and pretend the entire world is out to get you, you're going to just keep yourself from pulling out of the hole. But for the love of all that is Holy, quit making yourselves out to be the victims.  Not every single instance of crime that happens to be a white and black person is racist. Quit listening to Sharpton and Jackson.  They don't care about you. They care about money.  As long as you're still angry at the "white devil", they stay rich and happy.  I'm sorry but it's true.  Look at all the places they've started riots at.  Did they stay and do anything to help clean up the towns they destroyed?  Nope. Laughed all the way to the bank.  They don't want you to get along with whites.  They don't want you to realize the truth, in that most of us really don't care about color, we care about character.  They want you to think most of us hate you, we don't, that's the truth.

Or how about all the, for a lack of better words, "reverse racism" (which doesn't actually exist in context.)  When they were up there screaming out about the injustice for Trevon, where were they to stand up when the white man that was beaten and robbed by 3 blacks just because he was white?  Why is it that they're totally ok with blacks committing acts of racism and hate crimes, but not the other way around.  Better question is, why are you ok with it?  Why are you allowing yourself to be brainwashed into thinking that the white man just wants to exterminate the black race and such?  This is a new day and age.  A lot of people are waking up and refusing to listen to the messages of hate.  They are standing up for inequality and standing up against hatred and injustice.  They want us to all hate and fight each other.  As long as us "lower citizens" (I.e. all of us little peons not in any sort of position of power, your average human being) are fighting amongst ourselves, the powers that be are laughing their way to the bank and doing whatever it is they're doing while we're too busy hating each other.

But we need to start taking responsibility too.  All of us.  Listen to facts not propaganda.  Look at the Ferguson stuff.  Enough evidence surfaced to prove that what that officer said happened, was true.  Black witnesses supported it.  The blood evidence supported it. He was not just an innocent misunderstood kid. It's sad and it sucks, but he was not just gunned down innocently.  On the other hand, fairly recently there's been a video going around showing a white officer stopping a black man.  On the video, there's a discussion going on, the officer is asking questions, and the black guy is avoiding answering them.  Officer asks him to step out, guy refuses and tries to stop the police officer from opening the door.  The police officer shoots the black guy in the head, the car takes off and crashes into a pole. I watched that video like, seven times.  From what I seen, no where in there did it look like that officer was justified at shooting the guy... like... really. I seen no justification.  Unless there's something not shown, that cop needs to be fired without pay and face the maximum penalty.  No slaps on the wrist.

But quit acting like every "unarmed black kid" is an innocent angel!  Yes!  Some of them are and do not deserve what they got, and I will be one of the first to stand beside you and demand proper justice!  But do not defend someone who is clearly done wrong! Take responsibility! Near my hometown there were 2 black kids (I am fairly sure they were both black) who robbed a store at gunpoint. As they exited, they encountered a white guy who had a conceal carry permit that they were not aware of. They pointed guns in his face, he drew and fired, killing them both.  THERE WAS VIDEO EVIDENCE!!!  It was clear as a bell what happened, they pointed a gun in the dude's face, he shot them, end of story.  It was justified.  The families were crying out about how their "poor babies" were good kids and didn't deserve to be shot "in cold blood".  The one's parent commented on how he was just trying to get money for child support.... (umm... any job is better than robbery... hello?)  They blamed the guy who shot their kid saying it was his fault.  Hello? Your kid was robbing an innocent store clerk at gun point and then proceeded to put a gun in the face of a passerby.  They POINTED A GUN IN THE DUDE'S FACE!!! You point a gun in someone's face, and you get shot, you deserve what you got, I don't care what color you are.  How about accepting the fact your kid fucked up and that's why they're dead, instead of blaming someone else for their law breaking?  Yeah, I imagine being a parent that's gotta be one of the worst pains ever.  But I'm sorry, if my child pointed a gun in someone's face and got killed, that's their fault, their decision, their consequence.  I would be devastated, but if anything I'd be asking myself where I went wrong, not blaming someone who was defending themselves!?

*sigh*

If you've made it this far, thank you. I don't have all of the answers. I don't know everything. But what I do know, is nothing is going to change unless we all work together. You are not going to get rid of hate if you continue to hate, and teach hate to your children.  Children are not born knowing hated, it's taught. It takes one person to make a change.  For every one person that stands up and refuses to hate and refuses to teach hate, that paves the way for even more. And no, I'm not living in some sort of fantasy land.  No, I don't know what it's like to be black, the only thing I know is how blacks are actually seen by myself and people I've come across. Are there hate groups?  Yeah, but they represent such a small number it's crazy.  Just like all blacks aren't criminals, or all Hispanics aren't illegal immigrants, not all whites are racist, and in reality, those racists, criminals and illegals are such a small minority.  Not as lesser beings, as human beings.  If all you do is blame everyone else, if all you do is hate, you're going to have a harder time in fighting what injustice there is in this nation today.  It's sad we live in a nation in which our own politicians and officials cannot accept responsibility for their own mistakes, and pass that onto the masses.  Nothing in this country is going to change unless we stand up.  We all need to stand up and take responsibility for our own mistakes and our own shit.  "Hey, this dude fucked up, this is a sad lesson." and move on.  Or, if indeed there was an injustice, I'm right beside you fellow human.  You're not the only ones being "murdered" by police, more whites are killed by police than blacks, it just doesn't make the news.  It's almost as if we don't matter, it's not really newsworthy if it's a white person apparently. No one screams out when that happens when it was an injustice.  We don't have advocates standing up for us. There is no one to stand up for those of us who are victims of hate crimes by blacks, we're completely alone there.  Hell, I was raped by a black man.  Do I blame black people?  No.  Do I hate black people?  No, again, my "lil' bro" is black and one of the most amazing people I've ever known and I love him like a brother.  And no, none of that was a "oh pity the poor white folk" statement.  I'm just trying to say that while circumstances for any of us are not 100% the same, you are not alone.  You are not struggling alone.  You are not the only ones being killed unjustly, or treated unjustly. 

No I cannot understand what it is like to be black anymore than you can understand what it's like on my "side of the fence" as well, and contrary to what it seems a lot of blacks want to think, it's not all sunshine and rainbows.  I'm not saying by any means we have it any better or worse than you, it's just different.  I am in no way trivializing any of the things that have happened to your people.  Whitey is not out to get you! You are not the only slaves. You are not the only victims of genocide (off the top of my head, the Armenians and Jews would like to speak with you on that).  You are not the only victims of oppression (it's happened to Christians, Muslims, Pagans, all sorts of people!). Stop allowing yourself to be a continual victim, segregating yourselves and realize you're not alone, and you're not the only ones to have ever gone through these things.

Yes, It's One of Those Fangled Shooting Posts Again...

*sigh* Here we go again.  Just do me a favor and hear me out, because I'd be more than willing to listen to your side as well.

I know I've written about this before, but it just irks me how... sheepish like (and by that I mean anyone who just listens to what other people say without researching or thinking for themselves), ignorant... I hate to use the word stupid but it really seems to be the only word I can think of right now.  Illogical? I'm sure I could come up with more, or perhaps you could too.

"Oh come on Drain Bramage, what are you talking about??"

What am I talking about?  Last night, if you haven't heard, some douche canoe went into a black church in South Carolina (yes he was a white douche canoe) and shot a bunch of black people in their church.  And unlike a lot of these other "racist" incidents, according to some of the survivors  he actually stated his purpose was to shoot a bunch of black people.  Woah... an ACTUAL racially motivated crime!  With proof!!  See, now this I can stand behind, and will stand beside the victims and their families, and I will be crying out for justice with them!  Absolutely no one deserves to be singled out because of race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. But I digress...

This actually isn't about racial tensions. That's what my last blog was about.  This is a rehash of the whole "anti-gun" issue.  'Cause you know what I just heard?  Obama standing up there talking about how the wrong people got guns or whatever blah blah blah I'm blaming guns blah blah blah it's the guns fault blah blah blah."  So again I ask you, dear readers, to answer me a question.  When is the last time you've witnessed a gun getting up from its resting place, exit the home or wherever it happens to be residing (I say residing because apparently guns are sentient beings), leave, and go kill a bunch of people on its own?  Oh right, it's never happened in reality.

Now, before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch, let me say something.  I know there are people who live outside of the US that for whatever reason, seem to think Americans have a love affair with guns.  That we caress them and whisper sweet nothings into their... screws?? *scratches head*  It's not so much about the guns as it is our freedoms.  If anyone stopped to think for a moment, the majority, and by majority I mean the greater majority, of gun owners do not nor have they ever used their weapons to harm another person willingly nor used them to commit a crime.  Do you know who does that?  If you said criminals, I owe you a cupcake or something.  So please answer me, how exactly does taking guns out of the hands of people whom have never used them to harm others nor commit any crimes, going to do anything to stop shootings?

Think about that for a second. Seriously, I mean stop, repeat it in your head if you have to, but really think about this.  Who uses guns, knives, whatever to hurt other people or commit crimes?  Say it with me now... c... cri... crimin... criminals!!  (obviously the sarcasm doesn't apply to you lovely people who at least understand that guns or knives or whatever are not sentient beings.)  Who else?  Psycho/sociopaths and/or people with mental issues.  Ok, now that we have that covered, please explain to me how removing guns or any sort of weapon whatsoever is going to solve this problem, when the majority of people who own weapons indeed do not, nor have they ever used them to harm another or commit a crime?  If you said because the wrong people end up taking the guns from the "good guys" (people who follow the law and do not harm others) you should probably get your head examined because that follows the same logic as banning cars because drunk people can use them to drive and kill people.

The thing is though, if guns were outlawed, do you honestly think criminals would stop in their tracks and be like "oh my! Guns are illegal!!  Quick, guys, we need to get rid of all of our guns 'cause they're illegal now!!"  If you said yes... you do not understand what a criminal is.  They don't follow the law.  They don't care about the law.  Some of them don't even care who gets hurt or killed if it in any way inconveniences them. I do recognize not all criminals want to hurt people as there are varying degrees.  Even Russians have told us to not give up our guns. Proof! 

Now, if you look at actual, credible crime statistics, you will see that in areas in the US where citizens are more freely allowed to own firearms, crime is less than say, areas that have disarmed their citizens.  And by credible statistics I'm talking things like, the FBI crime statistic database, not some "study" Joe Schmoe did with no verifiable data and instead is bent to what he/she wants you to see.

Also keep in mind, I do not own any guns and this is how I see things. Does that make me right?  No.  But it doesn't make me wrong either.  If you're a criminal, are you going to rob the house where there's a family that owns firearms, or the one where the people are left undefended... except for maybe a baseball bat or something?

But wait... getting rid of guns will stop mass killings right?  Let's examine an event from a country in which their citizens are disarmed!!  In China in March of 2014, an attack occurred that left 33 dead and 143 people wounded.  Must have been guns right?  Wrong! Knives my friends... knives.  That's quite the toll isn't it?  I do also believe that's generally far more violent and deadly than a lot of our "mass shootings" that have happened in the US yes?  And all they had were knives.

All I'm trying to say dear friends is this: When you are treating any kind of "disease" (and I don't mean in the literal sense), you cannot succeed by just putting a band-aid on the situation, you have to treat the root or it will just resurface or develop a resistance to antibiotics or something.  The root isn't guns, it's people. Any one of these "mass shootings", which if you really think about it, they don't really happen often, they're just the ones that make the news.  Fewer people die in mass shootings than other related deaths I'd imagine.  The mass shootings, however, typically are done by people with diagnosed or suspected mental illness and they were somehow able to obtain a firearm.  Now, is that due to poor screening?  I wouldn't doubt that or discount it as a possibility.  Do they obtain the firearms from people they know? Well the person who was responsible for the Connecticut school shootings got his from his mother's apparently.  Is that the gun's fault?  Nope.

So how do we fix this?  Better screening?  I'm down for it. A tricky part may be getting around the doctor/patient confidentiality stuff HIPAA laws and violations.  Perhaps making a way to flag those who pose a danger to themselves or others would be surely helpful, but not leaving it up to the discretion of one doctor.  Better education?  Perhaps requiring a certificate from a course gun owners and potential gun owners can take in firearm safety and storage before a new purchase could be a good idea.

One thing I am confident of is that the answer to this "disease" is not outright banning all firearms, because that would be about as effective as banning all cars to stop drunk driving.  Because once again, nearly every mass shooting in the US involved people who did not obtain the firearms themselves, or somehow managed (in very few of the cases) to skirt around any sort of screening.  Criminals do not follow the law, they find ways around it.  Those who wish to do others harm will find a way, whether it's firearms, knives in China, they'll make bombs as with Oklahoma City, they'll poison something... if they want to harm they will find a way, with or without firearms.  Just use some logic, that's all I ask.  I get that it's easier and makes people feel safer to blame an object than accept the fact that there are people out there who are sick in the head.  It's much scarier to think or accept the fact that there are people out there who are really that "evil", vs putting blame on an inanimate object.

United We Stand, Divided We Fall...

So all these riots and whatnot that have taken place over the country in our fairly recent history have been all terrible and sad to see happening.  So much hurt, hate, anger, closed-mindedness going on all sides it's sad to see.  My heart broke for everyone in each case, but it especially hits home with what's been going on in Baltimore.  This is probably going to be long, but I did spend a good amount of time trying to gather "facts" in order to support what I'm trying to say here. After previewing it actually looks rather overwhelming in length, but about half of it really is synopses of several news articles I cited in my quest for facts for those who do not wish to click on the articles themselves.  Yes you, I know you're out there.

No, I didn't grow up in Baltimore, nor did I grow up in Maryland, but I might as well have.  I grew up close enough to the Maryland line I could nearly throw a rock from one state to another.  I will by no stretch of the imagination claim that I am as deeply affected as those who have literally called Baltimore home, but it still hits because it practically was in my back yard, plus I do have a lot of friends and family who either live in or very close to the city.

I think the absolute worst thing about all of these cases of "police brutality" and rioting is how quickly things seem to spiral out of control. Someone dies, and it seems like almost immediately people are rioting, destroying public and private property, robbing actual innocent people, stealing from businesses, setting places/things on fire... before all the facts are even in. I fail to see how exactly this is supposed to motivate anyone to hear what they're saying, but I digress.  What really bothers me, is that it seems like every event that happens ends up somehow being racially motivated.  Every time a black person is killed around police it's always racially motivated, nevermind the fact that you're 3-4 times more likely to be killed by police if you're white than if you're black.  This whole Baltimore thing initially was being declared as being a racially motivated "murder" of Freddie Gray, when indeed three out of the six police officers that are being charged are black. Interestingly enough, when this came out it got quieter, but there are still some that I am seeing try to paint this as a racially motivated crime and I really don't understand it at all.  Do you know how I see the world???

There you have it.  That is what people look like to me, and I cannot seem to fathom how others cannot see like this. Yes, I am not Black, nor Hispanic, nor Asian, nor Native American, etc. No I will never know what that is like.  Yes, I have been discriminated against, but because I happen to have boobs and a vagina, not the color of my skin. Yes, I believe racism and discrimination exists.  Yes, I believe there are some ignorant, closed minded individuals out there.  Yes, I do believe that if the officers are indeed found guilty of any charges, they should be punished according to the law and not given any leniency because of their profession.   But most of all, I believe that we the people are in control of how our society functions as a whole. We are the only ones holding ourselves back.  We are the ones who are keeping tensions so high.  And by we, I do not mean "whitey", I mean all of us. I decided to write this blog because I am angry, and no, I am not trying to sound like I am attacking Black people, but seriously come on here.

Not all the facts are in on the case. I've spent the majority of my day so far doing nothing but researching the Freddy Gray case, and the information that's available so far is not indicative of any guilt or innocence one way or another thus far.  What is clear is that Freddy's criminal record has no, or should not have, any bearing on his treatment. What is clear is that he died in police custody.  What is not clear, is whether or not the reports are accurate that are coming in so far, and by that what I mean is this:

Here, we have an article from The Guardian stating Freddie's head injury matches a bolt in the police van, and information that the police indeed did not have Freddie seat-belted in as required by policy.  Apparently, the policy went into effect mere days before this incident took place.  Prior to the incident in question, it was at the officer's discretion and not required. Sure, it's possible the officer(s) didn't see this change in policy because a lot of them "seem to be the same policy with cosmetic changes" or something and didn't pay attention, which is still no excuse mind you.  It is also apparent that there was an undisclosed stop made by the transport van which initially was not reported.

Here, an article on the Washington Post claims the prisoner being transported in the van with Gray states that Gray was banging against the wall during the ride in what appeared to be an effort to injure himself and supposedly have a case against the police for excessive force.

And here, is an article, also by the Washington Post, stating that Freddie's "supposed" preexisting spinal injury did not exist. As you may know, there are reports going around that Freddie, within approximately 10 days prior to the incident, had a spinal surgery/injury stemming from a previous accident and was supposed to be resting, when he was outside and locked eye contact with police and then ran, causing a chase which lead to everything that happened. It is still a mystery as to how 80% of his spinal cord could have been severed in his arrest, or in the van without having a prior injury to aggravate the.. well injury that resulted in his death.

Right here, we have a NY Times article speaking of and naming the six officers charged in Freddie's death, and who got what charges.  Note, the officer with the most serious charge, 2nd degree murder, is the van driver, who happens to be Black.  It is also suspected Gray did call for medical attention but was ignored until much later.  There's also mention of how it seems the early arrests and charges were made before all evidence was in, and seemed to be more politically motivated than anything else.

And lastly for now, an article from CBS giving a presumably factual account of the timeline that happened that day.

Now, in regards to the people saying he never had a civil suit for an accident, that it was only a civil suit for lead based paint, I beg to differ.  A simple search at the Maryland Judiciary Case Search not only reveals a lengthy criminal record for Freddie Gray, which again shouldn't have any bearing on whether or not he "deserved to die", reveals two different civil suits.  One indeed does involve lead paint, which was filed 03/14/2008, and one filed 10/16/2006 which appears to be an entirely different case all together.

On the latter link filed in 2006 if you notice, one of the defendants appears to be Taxi Management Inc, which, call me crazy, seems to relate to a taxi company, which would also seem to indicate possibly a motor vehicle related incident.  You'll also notice in the Judiciary Case search that there was indeed a request presented with Peachtree Settlement Funding for him pursuing a lump sum payment, which appears to have been dismissed due to no-show and involving the settlement offered by a company who is also well known for the insuring of motor vehicles.

What disgusts me is the amount of hate going on regarding this case, the fact that people are committing acts of violence and destruction against innocent people when the facts aren't even completely in yet.  None of these articles can 100% determine exactly the degree of responsibility on the officers involved.  Again, I'm not defending the officers, merely stating that all the facts are not in yet, and I'm reserving judgement until that point in time.  The disgusting amount of comments by Blacks, and even non-Blacks screaming that this is another Trevon (who was killed by a Hispanic man mind you, and also wasn't a police officer).  The overall amount of hatred toward whites.  Crying out that if Freddie was white this never would have happened (when again, you're 3-4 times more likely to be killed by police if you're white than Black).  People commenting about "Black Power" and stating how it's not racist because it's different than yelling "White Power".  That the white man is just trying to hold the black man down, blah blah slavery blah blah, without once acknowledging the fact that white people didn't just sail over to Africa and kidnap innocent black people, their own people sold them into slavery.  Not acknowledging the fact that many Jews and other white Europeans were also slaves for a long period of time and seeming to act like it's only blacks that have been oppressed in history. Slavery was and is wrong, period. It should never have happened in history, period, to anyone. In this country however, it is also in the past. And what seems to be forgotten is that the actual number of white people who owned slaves was very small, and it's also forgotten that a huge number of us actually were against slavery and fought to make sure you were all treated like human beings and were given freedom, and even risked their lives to smuggle your ancestors out of the south and into the north were you were viewed as being free people. I'm being brief here because it's history for one, and for two this is already a novel as it is.

Oh and my favorite argument is the people who are crying out about how Freddie was "guilty before proven innocent" and saying about how it's not fair he wasn't treated as innocent until proven guilty... and yet these same people are screaming out to crucify these officers and not allowing them to also be innocent until proven guilty, which quite frankly, is hypocrisy.

Mind you once again, I am not defending the officers.  It does seem to me like there is certainly at least some degree of negligence here, whether intentional or not, which, I don't think is an intentional act by all six officers, but who knows.  It also seems that Freddie simply wasn't guilty of only making eye contact, but it does seem as though he did run from officers, which usually screams "Hey, I'm doing something illegal here and don't want you to catch me in the act." I believe the biggest factor here is going to be whether or not he did indeed have a prior injury and/or surgical procedure done that could have largely contributed to his untimely death. But none of this really explains this phenomena that seems to swirl around regarding how everything that involves a black victim is automatically a racist act if the perpetrator is of another race, and completely ignoring the fact that the overwhelming majority of crimes committed against blacks are indeed made by blacks.  Why do they focus so intently on the miniscule number of crimes committed on blacks by non-blacks and ignore the fact that the majority of crimes committed against them are by "their own people." This is something I cannot wrap my head around.

Mind you, I speak of this as a white woman who was raped once by a black man.  It never once crossed my mind that I was targeted by him simply because I was a young, naive white girl. Sure it's entirely possible that perhaps what he did to me was part of some racially motivated conquest or something, but it never really entered my mind.  And I must say, every white person I've ever talked to doesn't really give a damn what color your skin is, they only care about your character.  Twat waffles/assholes come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ethnicities, sexual orientations, religious backgrounds, etc. Racism/hatred/discrimination/ignorant human beings/decent human beings/accepting human beings/loving human beings/respectable human beings knows no color or has no other affiliation.  They are all inclusive and exclusive at the same time.

I conclude this novel with one plea for every one of you out there:

Pull your heads out of your asses people. This crap isn't going to stop unless you make it stop.  Yes you, every single one of you reading this right now. I don't care where you're from, what color you are, what God you worship or don't worship, who you chose to make love to... none of that.  If you can't stop the stereotype that blacks are criminals or Mexicans are all illegals or all white people are racist and holding you back from achieving something better or that every cop is out to get you or whatever... none of this is going to go away.  By rolling along and jumping on every piece of propaganda or whatever that's fed to you by the media, people like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton, all you're doing is feeding into and keeping those issues going and thriving.  You're continually dumping fuel on that fire and allowing for it to continue burning.  Contrary to what you may think the only thing you're doing is adding to the regression of our society, not our progression toward a better and less divided society to live in.  Is police use of excessive force an issue?  Very well could be.  But it's not just blacks that are singled out of this, you're not alone.  It can and does happen to all of us, it just so happens to be there's no team of great white/Hispanic/Asian preachers/speakers crying out about injustice.  Just because you don't hear about it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.  Just ask all the white people who were targeted and beaten "For Trevon", but you didn't hear about them really, did you?  You are not alone, and believe it or not, the greater majority of us have nothing against you.  The majority of us hate the white supremacists as much as you do, and have, could, and would stand beside you if you are indeed being mistreated or discriminated against... but that can be difficult if you're standing there shouting about "white devil" and how terrible of people we are.  No one likes to be labeled. Just one person can make a difference.  How you ask? For every one person that opens their hearts and minds and works to stop the division and hatred, that's one person closer to being a united society. 

Hmmm Religious Freedom Act eh?

Unless you've been living under a rock, don't own a TV, read the newspaper, or have any device that connects you to the goings-on in the world today, I'm sure you've heard about this "Religious Freedom" bill that recently passed in Indiana and all the outrage on both sides.  This may be kind of lengthy, but I just ask you read to the bottom.  You don't have to agree with me, that's fine and I respect that.  But at least hear me out here and consider it if your views happen to be different. " The new law will prohibit a governmental entity from substantially burdening a person’s religious beliefs, unless that entity can prove it’s relying on the least restrictive means possible to further a compelling governmental interest. It’s modeled off of the federal Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA), which gained notoriety in the Supreme Court’s controversial Hobby Lobby ruling last year. " 

Hmmm well that doesn't sound too dangerous right?  I mean it sounds like the law just keeps the government from burdening someone's religious  beliefs and has nothing to do with private person to person "squabbles" right?  Except... who is it that goes after people who discriminate?? Right... the government!!  *scratches head*  So what happens then?  Some business refuses to serve a gay couple because it's against their religion, and the government can't go after them for discrimination because the business doesn't want to serve a gay person because it's against their religious morals?

Here's what I don't get.  Ok so, I can understand from a personal point of view someone who's insanely Christian or whatever not wanting to serve a gay couple because they feel being gay is a sin. If indeed this law is not intended to allow businesses the right to discriminate against others, then where is the law that allows gay business owners the right to refuse service to and discriminate against the Westboro Baptist Church?  What about blacks/Hispanics/Asians/Native persons the right to refuse service to and "discriminate" against serving members of the KKK?  That doesn't sound too bad you say? Perhaps it doesn't if this bill included these same discriminatory/denial of service tactics to all of these groups and similar types of groups... but it's all about religion. However, why should it be ok for anyone to discriminate against anyone else simply because of opposing or different views period? As long as said persons are being respectful and/or not causing a scene, why refuse service or allow to refuse service period?  But here's the thing...

Anyone who knows me will tell you, I don't care if you're black, Asian, Hispanic, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Catholic, Pagan, alien, Pastafarian, whatever... if you're a decent human being that's all I care about.  I don't care who you love, if you're straight, gay, transgendered... if you're a good person, you're a good person, and Lord knows there's assholes of every race, religion, ethnic background, etc.  What bothers me is that in this society, it seems to be acceptable for everyone to think they're so much more important and valuable than anyone else.  That their beliefs and their wants by far supersede the rights and beliefs of anyone and everything else.  How is it that Joe Schmoe's religious beliefs are more important than mine or yours, and it's ok for his rights to trample on mine, but not mine his?? How can a company be allowed to not provide coverage to it's employees on say, birth control pills (which btw, are VERY frequently taken for reasons other than contraception) because of his religious beliefs, but I can't have it covered when it's not against mine?  How does his/her company not believing in birth control affect their ability to go to heaven or not?  My getting birth control has no bearing on that.  Just as being black, or Hindu, or gay has no bearing on Joe Schmoe getting into heaven or not.

I never understood that.  It just seems to me that people saying "I don't want to serve so and so because they're gay and I believe being gay is a sin, and I think it's wrong."  Ok there dear sir/ma'am, allow me to ask you this.  How in the world does someone being gay, impact your ability to get into heaven?  How exactly does this have a direct impact on your life personally?  You providing them a service at your place of business does not mean that you approve nor disapprove of their beliefs or lifestyle, so how does this affect you personally?  Oh right, it doesn't. You have every right to believe what you want, however that does not give you the right to be a discriminatory asshole to someone just because you don't agree with how they live.  You want people to let you live your life? You have to learn to allow others the same freedom.  And as I said above, how someone else lives doesn't affect you, and just because they're different doesn't mean they're bad people, and just because say, you serve a gay couple a meal at your restaurant or book them a room at your hotel, that doesn't mean you're agreeing with their lifestyle or beliefs (if indeed you are concerned that showing agreement would keep you from getting into heaven or whatever.) You know what it does show?  Love and compassion for your fellow human beings, which is, in my own humble opinion anyway, exactly what God/Jesus/Allah/whatever would like for us to do.

We're starting to go back to the times where it was ok to refuse service to blacks, or Japanese Americans due to just their race.  Or discriminating against interracial couples because it was "wrong", and that is not ok with me at all.  One of the best friends I ever had was transgendered and committed suicide April 7th of 2012 because of closed minded, unaccepting jerks that we have in society today.  Here's the thing, no one is asking you to magically approve of say, people being gay or asking you to participate in being gay or whatever. All most of these people are asking of you is to just accept them for who they are and treat them like people.  Treat them as you would want to be treated and allow them the same rights and liberties you enjoy... that's it. sure there's some that go overboard just as you have with anything, but for the most part that's all most of them want.. to be treated as an equal human being with the same rights you have as being heterosexual or whatnot.  They, being allowed to marry does not affect your marriage nor invalidate it at all.  It's between them and whatever deity you or they happen to believe or not believe in.

I fail to understand how it's Christian-like to discriminate or refuse service to anyone whom may share different beliefs than someone else. Does this law allow Muslims the right to refuse service to a Jewish or Christian person or vice versa? Whatever happened to judge not lest ye be judged?

Matthew 7:1-3King James Version (KJV) 7 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?   Who are you, to judge my, or anyone else's sins, when you yourself are most certainly or have been most certainly guilty of sinning yourself?  Why are you choosing, and yes I say choosing because it is a choice, for you to not love your neighbors and be good to one another regardless of differences?  The only exceptions to this really is if someone is genuinely being a true twat-waffle about something.  Like, yes, if two gay people come into your restaurant and start doing the horozontal polka (i.e. having sexual relations) on your table, yes that is way over the top and infringing upon your beliefs and you should have the right at that point to refuse them service.  Or if you are black and own a restaurant and a group of people come in wearing KKK regilia, then yes... you should have the right to refuse them service.  As long as someone is respecting your establishment, why do you have to be so hateful? How would you feel if someone refused you service because you're Christian and they're say... Confucionists? (Btw you can exchange any religion, gender, race, etc for any other in any arguments I'm using here, I'm not going to discriminate I'm simply just giving examples here.)

I suppose I am going to leave it at this for now, as this is already long enough as it is.  So I'm going to borrow a quote from George Takei here, because I think it's extremely relevant to what's going on here in our society today: "I myself am a Buddhist, not a Christian. But I cannot help but think that if Christ ran a public establishment, it would be open to all, and He would be the last to refuse service to anyone. It is, simply put, the most un-Christian of notions." 

Ahhh... Random Musings and Rantings, September Edition

*Disclaimer* This blog is not about any one person in particular. These are random rants about people in general, things I've seen people do to themselves, others, and just mainly general observations about people in general and their behavior. If anyone gets butthurt about any of this, you find yourself offended, or feel guilty, you may want to look in the mirror and ask yourself why you feel that way, because if I had something to say to any one person in particular, I'd say it to your face.  Perhaps I have already done so.  Perhaps this doesn't really pertain to you at all. At any rate, if you have an issue with anything in here, you are more than welcome to message me and speak with me about it.

I've had a lot of crap on my mind lately.  It's been a pretty tough year that's for sure.  I've had two surgeries (right knee and left ankle), so pretty much since January I've been in a constant state of recovery from something.  It's been rather crappy but really I can't complain.  Well I could but it's not like it would really make things any better.  The important thing is those surgeries have fixed problems, and after the recovery period is over I am going to be the bionic woman... er I mean in better shape than I was in prior to getting the stuff fixed.  I did ask my amazingly awesome ankle surgeon if I could get a bionic ankle, he just laughed and said no.  *sadface*  But hey, at least I got a pretty awesome scar to go with it!!

Totally got this scar while fighting off some zombies and saving an orphan... you're welcome!

So that's not really what's been bothering me though.  I mean yeah it sucks, and sure it's unfortunate and inconvenient as all get out, but it's healing.  What really bothers me, and has been bothering me and puzzling me is people.  Over the course of time, and especially as of this fairly recent past, I've had the misfortune of witnessing first hand just how ugly some people can get.  I mean anyone who knows some of the things I've been through in my life know that I've been through and seen some pretty messed up, horrific and terrible things.  But this has been a side of people that perhaps, I chose to turn the cheek at or pretend it doesn't exist, and some being from those one would not expect to see them from.

There are several hallmarks of a decent human being.  Can you trust them?  Are they there for you when you need them?  Do they respect you and your privacy? Are they honest with and about you? Would they only say something about you they would say to your face?  Are they responsible?  If they say or do something that is hurtful to you, do they take ownership of their wrongs?  Do they care about your well being?  Do they accept and love you for who you are?  If there's a problem, can you talk to them about it and find a resolution in a pleasant manner?

I just don't understand how it seems to be so difficult for people to do these things.  I've witnessed people doing some incredibly nasty things to one another, for no good reason at all.  Lied about things and people, made up stories, tore others down, talking shit about others behind their backs... and why?  What does it accomplish? Perhaps at the time it made them feel better, but in reality all they've done is push someone away that could have been there for them.  Why feel the need to attempt to tear someone else down and destroy them when they've done nothing wrong?  Why lie to others and yourself (I do not necessarily mean "you" or "yourself" directed at you, dear reader specifically)?  Why not wake up accept what your blame is and own up to your own mistakes?  Sure it's easier to blame others and everyone but yourself, but here's a newsflash:  Not one single being on this planet is perfect.  No, not even the Pope.  If you steal money from Mary and tell five people about it, and Mary finds out about it somehow, you cannot/should not blame one or all of those five people because Mary found out.  Had you not stolen the money from Mary to begin with, there would be no issue because at the end of the day, you were the one who did wrong to begin with.  There is no one to blame in that case but yourself.

Just because you make a mistake, that does not mean you're automatically a terrible person either.  We all make mistakes. I've made mistakes.  Everyone who reads this makes mistakes.  What absolves you of your mistakes is being able to accept and take ownership of them, apologize for your wrongdoings and seek forgiveness.  If you're religious, yes you can seek forgiveness from God, but you must also seek forgiveness from whomever you've wronged as well.  Sometimes it's enough to just say "I'm sorry", and other times it may take a little more than that.  Depending on what it is, you may have to show you're willing to make changes and actually show/prove that you are remorseful. Actions speak louder than words. You may have to talk with that person, get it all out there, and be able to talk through the problem and come to a mutual understanding.  It may take a lot of work, but if that person is someone whom has always been good to you, it may be worth it. Any relationship, be it co-worker, acquaintance, friend, best friend, family member, partner/spouse is a two way street and takes work from both parties.  It's not as simple as:

It takes work and dedication.  Obviously the amount of work and dedication depends on the relationship, but still.  You can't just have an argument or something and ignore it and everything will be sunshine and rainbows.  Ignoring a problem does not make it go away.  Should some things be overlooked?  Sure.  But ignoring everything is not going to make all your problems go away.

One thing I've also realized also is that if you ever find yourself encountering people like this, you cannot beat yourself up about it if they hurt you.  You cannot sit there and obsess over what you may or may not have done wrong to them, or what you could have done to deserve that kind of backlash.  Maybe you did do something.  But if you didn't, allowing the hurt to continue or continuously trying to make sense of it will do nothing but drive yourself insane and cause extra stress.  It's up to you whether or not you wish to allow that to continue.  If you keep allowing the same person to continue hurting you over and over again, at that point you have blame to accept as well.  Sure it's not your fault the other person is treating you that way, but if you allow it to continue, you have to accept your part in that as well. You should be able to defend yourself if you're treated unfairly, but you also have to realize sometimes that the best course of action is simply to not feed it.  Sometimes you have to stop defending yourself and just accept the situation for what it is.  One person cannot change everything, and if you have tried to mend things on your end and the other cannot seem to meet you halfway or work with you, then you have done all you can and need to free yourself.

It all boils down to this.  We're all people.  There are some who seem to exist to feed on others and their misfortunes.  There are those who seek to tear others down, be it by truth or lies. There are people out there who cannot accept when they have an imperfect moment or twelve and choose to blame everyone and everything else but themselves. Why?  Who knows.  But it's their choice. They can still choose to change. No matter what someone has done wrong in their lives, they can still choose to change and better themselves.  There are those of us who try to stay genuine and true.  Who try to lift others up when they are down, be a shoulder to cry on, someone who tries to bring joy, laughter and happiness into the lives of others.  We enjoy seeing and making those around us we hold dear happy.  We try to live and treat others as we would like to be treated, yet we are not infallible. We make mistakes too.  We all make mistakes.  It's what we do with ourselves when we do make a mistake or fall that determines our true character. 

I also do not get people who feel the need to put up a front or put on a "show" for other people.  Who do you really have to impress, and why do you feel the need to lie or exaggerate circumstances to make you look like you're a better person, or more successful, or whatever you're trying to accomplish?  If you're trying to just make yourself look like a better person, how about just... I don't know, be a better person?  Significant others who post stuff all like "Look what I did for my amazing bf/gf/spouse?" but treat them like crap behind closed doors.  How about just treat them good and not like crap so you don't have to post stuff up like that to make you feel better about being a horrible person, and just be a better significant other instead?  Parents who are all over their Facebook with pics and saying things about their kids but instead spend almost every waking moment out and about or partying or bitching and complaining about how much of a pain in the ass their kids are instead of being a parent. Children aren't accessories to make you look like a better person, they're a responsibility.  Sure you need time for yourself too, but your kids should be your main priority.  People who go out buying incredibly expensive, name-brand items of any kind, whether it be phone, tv, computer, clothes, purses, sunglasses, shoes, cars, whatever... yet set up gofundme pages to raise money to help them pay their bills/college tuition or whatever... all for the sake of having a more "successful" appearance?  I just don't get it.  What's the point?  If you're putting up a front to begin with, some part of you must be ashamed or feel guilty of what you're doing wrong, so instead of lying about it and putting up a front, why not change it?  And if it was the latter example of buying items to make yourself look more "successful", why are you hanging around people who would judge you because you can't afford stupidly expensive things?  Why do you feel the need to impress them? Be yourself!!  Who gives a shit if someone snubs you because of material possessions? They're just shitty examples of human beings to begin with.  Things do not define you... you define you. 

At the end of the day, we are the masters of our own destiny.  We are the masters of our own lives.  While we cannot control what others do, we can control typically how we deal or subject ourselves to others.  We control our own actions.  We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control those we typically surround ourselves with.  We control how we see the world around us.  We can choose to be a positive force, or we can choose to be a negative force.  You can choose to focus on the negative, or you can accept the negative and embrace the positive in the situation.  Our lives boil down to choices and perspective.  Those things are what will end up making us either miserable, or happy.  Even if you've been dealt a crappy hand in life, you can instead choose to see the good you have in it, and by doing so you can still achieve happiness and fulfillment if you so choose to do so.

Please people.  Be kind to one another.  Love yourself, and love those around you.  Don't allow yourself to become a terrible person because you are hurting inside or are unhappy with something about yourself, or something else.  Learn to love yourself and strive to be the best you can be.  And if you come across good people, make sure you let them know how much they mean to you and treat them well.  Good, genuine and true people seem to be hard to find, so if you find one, love them, respect them, appreciate them, and cherish them, for they are the people who will always be there for you and be a positive driving force in your life.

Much love everyone!!