***** ANOTHER SUPER IMPORTANT UPDATE! ***** (Update added April 21, 2021)
Holy hell where do I even start with this entry? If you're reading this more recently, please keep in mind that I did have the best intentions at the time when I wrote this. My world view was much smaller, I wasn't as good at researching and digging, and with age also comes wisdom and maturity... or so we hope for most.
I have never, ever been one to harbor any hatred in my heart toward anyone regardless of race, gender, religion, or whatever else. Assholes come in all shapes, sizes, colors, races, genders, religions, sexual orientations or whatever... but so do good people. My worldview when I wrote this was more... "whitewashed" I guess? I mean, I also wasn't aware of the fact that the "Oathkeepers" were actually legit a white supremacist group either. I could've understood if their literal intent was to only protect property and nothing else, but oh what we learn over the course of like, 6 years eh?
Anyways, if you're a PoC reading this in modern times, please don't hate me or crucify me (in a matter of speaking), at least please read my more recent blog post from April 2021 before rendering judgement. None of us can bring change in the world without being the change, learning and growing, listening to others and their experiences, etc. I hope in comparing this writing to a more recent one shows I've grown a lot since writing this, and I hope to continue growing throughout life. As with my "Wimpification" blog entry, I'm leaving the original for the time being unedited (even though I really, really want to edit like, the whole thing) in the hopes that it can show people, I hope, that we can all learn, grow and change, and that it's ok to not be perfect or have all of the answers, and most of us don't change totally overnight... but as long as we're constantly trying to learn, grow, and evolve and willing to do so, we can do some great things together as a society! Much love!!
***** END OF ANOTHER SUPER IMPORTANT UPDATE *****
I want to ask all of you, all... two of you who probably read this, to bear with me. Grab a cup of coffee or tea or something, or a beer if that's your thing, and prop your feet up. Have a seat, open your mind, hear me out, and please... if anyone can make sense of this for me, please get in touch!! No I'm serious, because I really cannot fathom any of this and I wish I could understand. Now, first, I am going to tell and show you what I seen on this page. After the ******, I'm going to go into actual thoughts and feelings, and that's where I could really use any enlightenment if anyone has any. I don't care what color you are, where you're from, your gender, anything. If you can open-mindedly and calmly discuss this with me, maybe we can both learn from each other. If you're uninterested in reading what I seen/uncovered on the Facebook page, just skip to the ********** part. Please, I ask you, human to human, if you read anything at least read what's past the ****'s, read it all, and help me out here.
*cracks knuckles*
Ok so. Unless you've been living under a rock (which is looking more and more appealing by the day, by the way...) you've been no doubt noticing the sheer number of "young, innocent, unarmed black children" being murdered by the police. Like me, you've also probably noticed that it seems that they are occurring in greater frequency lately over the past few years. Note, seems. Are they actually occurring in greater frequency, or are they just being reported in greater frequency? Hard to say, and I won't really form an opinion on that without cold, hard, indisputable facts. What I can say, is I have noticed them more.
Now... yesterday a friend of mine shared an image. The image was a series of pictures (which I'm not sure I want to put up) stating something along the lines of "While the police are murdering our children and people are doing this, that and the other thing, the one great power we have in unity." Or something, and at the bottom had a picture of a black arm, and a white arm holding hands. I was all like, hell yeah!!! One of his friends commented and said "lol at the comments." So what do I do, I hadn't noticed the Facebook page source for the image, nor did I click on the image originally and look at the comments. So, I click on the image, and I start reading the comments...
Almost every comment was some variation of "down with krackaz, black power, kill whitey blah blah blah." I then looked up and seen the page source, and realize I'd stumbled upon a Black supremacist site. Hmm.. that explains why there's people on there saying that message was disgusting, the nerve of suggesting that the mighty black people should ever stoop to join hands with the white devil.
I'm going to note here, btw, I am in no way saying that all blacks feel this way, just as all whites are not racist, blah blah blah. The number however is insanely startling.
I start looking at the page. My jaw is on the floor. My brain explodes. These are examples of some of the things I've read (some explained, some screen shots, sometimes you just have to see):
*Image of "Blacks Law Dictionary, Blacks are not considered citizens and are still considered slaves by the government". It cites the Dread Scott case, which stated (many eons ago) that Blacks brought here and sold as slaves were not considered citizens and was ruled so by the Supreme Court. This is widely cited and used as examples of the WORST decision to ever befall the US Supreme court, and not too long after was overturned/superceded by The 14th Amendment to the Constitution!!! Hey, a friggin constitutional amendment was made grinding in stone that ya'll are citizens and have equal rights. Why are you using past shit to try to further hate, when it's not remotely true anymore? Then there's this gem...
There's posts about how the US is supposedly gearing up to throw blacks into concentration type camps "called FEMA camps". There's posts talking about how the "Oathkeepers" or whoever they are, the white armed dudes in Ferguson are only there to intimidate and scare the blacks into submission, and how they care more about property than black lives.
Uhhh... regardless of whether or not I agree with what and how they're there, they are there to protect the friggin shops and property from all the friggin fires and looters!!! HELLOOOO!!! They want to protect their communities and people too! Stop setting stores and stuff from innocent business owners on fire and quit with the vandalism, looting and stuff and maybe no one will feel the need to protect it!!! How is that so hard to understand?!??! Like, you really think it's ok to loot, vandalize and set stores on fire of innocent people, yet you are complaining when those people stand up to protect their property?? Think about it. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you sit there and allow people to just go destroy your businesses and do nothing? Nope.
On that same topic, the "Oathkeepers" or whatever, there's comments "If those were blacks they'd be locked up." You know, I can't respond to that really because I don't know. But the response to that was things like "Five scout sniper teams with 200 black men with AK's. Would scare the fucking shit out of them.", and another comment talking about how they need to "break their soldiers out of prison and arm them" and fight, and in the same breath nearly talking about how the media would twist it to "make the black man look bad and more violent." If you respond with violence, that's what you get. If you point a gun in someone's face don't expect to not get shot. If you stick your hand in oil don't expect to not get burned. Think people!!
Like, nearly everyone on that page (and it's got an alarming number of followers) thinks white man is the devil and just holding the black man down. That we're all nothing but a bunch of "pink pigs" or racist scum or whatever who are secretly planning a race war to murder all the blacks and stuff like that.
The amount of hate was insane!!!!
*******************************************************************************
Now. Here is what I don't get. It doesn't help we live in an entitled society today. Our own government doesn't take any responsibility, so the masses think, why should I? Entitled, won't accept any blame or responsibility for their own part in an act or situation, etc.
Part of this maybe is because I'm a blonde haired, blue eyed chick who spent most of her life in the country and I just don't understand. But I think that works both ways.
One of the best friends I've ever had in my life is black. He's my lil' bro. I freaking love him like he is my brother, hence the name of course. We've talked in lengths about how differently we grew up and how differently we see a lot of the world. Honestly, neither one of us is 100% right. If I'm recalling this correctly, he's explained to me that he pretty much grew up in a more urban environment and was pretty much taught in a lot of circumstances to be uneasy around white people especially. He was pretty much taught that a lot of white people don't necessarily see blacks or whoever as equals. He explained how just sitting on the bus you gotta pretty much be suspicious of all the white folk on there. I on the other hand have never encountered such a thing. I don't mean with people being suspicious of me, but I mean with whites supposedly looking down on blacks as being inferior or unequal. I'm fairly certain if that was the main wish, being white, I'd be privy to some of this information. The truth is, I think I've encountered maybe one, maybe two "racist" people in my entire life that were white. Most of us honestly do not care what color your skin is, or where you're from. If you're a good person, you're a good person! If you're an asshole, you're an asshole.
About the uneasy looks thing. If I'm in a room with 20 people from all colors and countries, the one that looks uneasily toward me, I'm going to be uneasy with as well. Now, does that mean those people who may have looked at my lil' bro uneasily always have good intent? No I'm not saying that. Mostly though, if you have someone acting all uneasy around you, they're not going to be all that open either. This is a people thing, this is a basic survival thing. When you're open, warm and welcoming to someone else, odds are you'll get that back. Not always, I know a lot of city mentality is "get out of my way, hurry hurry, blah blah I'm important", but odds are you're not going to be glared at suspiciously.
Now, to address blacks being "held down" or "held back". I've heard quite a few times that when blacks gained rights, and segregation was ended, they were essentially herded into cities to keep them in poverty and try to keep them from succeeding. Do I want to believe this? No. Sadly, it's entirely possible. I will give them that. I'm not saying it's fact, but I'm not denying the possibility that it is fact at all. There was a time our government said they weren't citizens or had rights, there was a time our government seen fit to segregate, so I can't see it being impossible that they'd do that, and I hate to say it.
Do you, fellow black human beings, have a more difficult time? It's entirely possible you have, and for that I am sorry. I am sorry that your people have been treated unfairly. I am sorry that for any point in time you were ever treated like secondary human beings, or made to feel at any point you are less human or less important. But you are not alone, you are not the only one who's angry, you are not standing all by yourselves in this. You are not the only race to ever be sold as slaves (indeed, it's insanely likely throughout history whites owned more white slaves than blacks), you're not the only ones to have been victims of genocide or oppression. Stop thinking that you're alone, you're not. Stop allowing yourselves to be victims. Stop being victims. You have to own your own in this too though (don't bail on me now, hear me out.)
Slavery was wrong. You are not the only race of human beings to ever be enslaved. There were slaves in ancient Greece. Rome had slaves that came from all over Europe and the Mediterranean (typically white or "white-ish" slaves). The Viking slave trade in medieval times primarily consisted of English, Irish, and Scottish slaves, while in the East they were mainly Slavs. Christians sold Muslims into slavery as Muslims also sold Christians into slavery. Really, just take a minute and look into it, you are not alone!!! Did you also know that at the peak of black slavery in the South, only 6 percent of Southern whites owned slaves? If you include the white people in the North, it means that only 1.4 percent of white Americans owned black slaves at the HEIGHT of slavery. Did you also stop and consider that "white devil" didn't just go up into Africa and kidnap a bunch of blacks unwillingly? Did you know that it was actually the black Africans who sold their own people to the "white devil"? Wait!! Don't go running off now... I'm possibly not taking this where you think it's going.
I am by no means saying slavery in the US was solely the fault of the black Africans who sold their own people into slavery. But all I keep hearing is how everything that has happened to blacks in the US is the fault of the "krakas" or whatever. Yes, evil mean white dudes or whatever a really long ass time ago had black slaves (in the 1600's there were actually mainly white slaves in the US, did you know that?) Yes some of the slaves were treated horribly. Yes, a lot were treated like second class human beings. Yes, they were denied the same rights and freedoms as the "crackas". But for the love of all that is Holy, you are not the only ones!!!
WAKE. UP. We are not your enemy. More white people have risked their lives for your freedoms (underground railroad, etc.) than have fought to keep you oppressed. More of us stand beside you against those who do not treat you equally than work against you or want to "keep you down." Back to what I was saying earlier, let's say that with the "Hey, ya'll deserve these freedoms and rights" stuff and the end of legal segregation that you were sort of forced to live in cities and be poor and have a harder time in life. There's some ugly ass blemishes on the history of this country, but open your eyes and look around you! There's a lot of people who grew up in really shitty circumstances and put into bad spots or given a really bad start. You have so many people standing WITH you! You have the opportunities to get out there and dig your heels in and change things. You don't have to stay where you're at if you're in a bad spot. Study, get good grades, go to college. Being white doesn't automatically get you a pass, trust me. Now will that magically fix things? No. But trust me, the actual amount of white racist assholes is so insanely small it's not even funny. I've seen more vile, hatred spewed forth from blacks to whites than I have seen the other way around. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but you cannot fight fire with fire, you cannot fight hate with hate. Well ok, on the fire with fire thing that's half true. If it's a forest fire, it is common practice for firefighters to burn an area ahead of the fire so it then has no where to spread. But I'm not talking about forest fires. I'm talking about your kitchen. If your kitchen is on fire, and you use fire to fight it, you're just going to have twice as much fire and not get anywhere and burn your friggin house down. I don't understand how anyone can sit there and say "the white devil hate us and wants to murder us all and they're just a bunch of racist crackaz blah blah blah", and not realize that the very hate they want to stop, is exactly what they're keeping alive. Where in the hell do they even get these ideas?!? Internment camps? REALLY?!?!
Take a child that is abused for example. Up until a point, the state of that child, its mental health, maybe physical health, whatever, is a result of the abusive parent. You can blame that abusive parent to a point. There becomes a point where that child has to wake up and choose whether or not they're going to allow themselves to be a victim and keep blaming everyone else, or start taking responsibility for their own futures. They need to choose not to be a victim. Sure, I make it sound easy. It's not. But if you continue to sit there and pretend the entire world is out to get you, you're going to just keep yourself from pulling out of the hole. But for the love of all that is Holy, quit making yourselves out to be the victims. Not every single instance of crime that happens to be a white and black person is racist. Quit listening to Sharpton and Jackson. They don't care about you. They care about money. As long as you're still angry at the "white devil", they stay rich and happy. I'm sorry but it's true. Look at all the places they've started riots at. Did they stay and do anything to help clean up the towns they destroyed? Nope. Laughed all the way to the bank. They don't want you to get along with whites. They don't want you to realize the truth, in that most of us really don't care about color, we care about character. They want you to think most of us hate you, we don't, that's the truth.
Or how about all the, for a lack of better words, "reverse racism" (which doesn't actually exist in context.) When they were up there screaming out about the injustice for Trevon, where were they to stand up when the white man that was beaten and robbed by 3 blacks just because he was white? Why is it that they're totally ok with blacks committing acts of racism and hate crimes, but not the other way around. Better question is, why are you ok with it? Why are you allowing yourself to be brainwashed into thinking that the white man just wants to exterminate the black race and such? This is a new day and age. A lot of people are waking up and refusing to listen to the messages of hate. They are standing up for inequality and standing up against hatred and injustice. They want us to all hate and fight each other. As long as us "lower citizens" (I.e. all of us little peons not in any sort of position of power, your average human being) are fighting amongst ourselves, the powers that be are laughing their way to the bank and doing whatever it is they're doing while we're too busy hating each other.
But we need to start taking responsibility too. All of us. Listen to facts not propaganda. Look at the Ferguson stuff. Enough evidence surfaced to prove that what that officer said happened, was true. Black witnesses supported it. The blood evidence supported it. He was not just an innocent misunderstood kid. It's sad and it sucks, but he was not just gunned down innocently. On the other hand, fairly recently there's been a video going around showing a white officer stopping a black man. On the video, there's a discussion going on, the officer is asking questions, and the black guy is avoiding answering them. Officer asks him to step out, guy refuses and tries to stop the police officer from opening the door. The police officer shoots the black guy in the head, the car takes off and crashes into a pole. I watched that video like, seven times. From what I seen, no where in there did it look like that officer was justified at shooting the guy... like... really. I seen no justification. Unless there's something not shown, that cop needs to be fired without pay and face the maximum penalty. No slaps on the wrist.
But quit acting like every "unarmed black kid" is an innocent angel! Yes! Some of them are and do not deserve what they got, and I will be one of the first to stand beside you and demand proper justice! But do not defend someone who is clearly done wrong! Take responsibility! Near my hometown there were 2 black kids (I am fairly sure they were both black) who robbed a store at gunpoint. As they exited, they encountered a white guy who had a conceal carry permit that they were not aware of. They pointed guns in his face, he drew and fired, killing them both. THERE WAS VIDEO EVIDENCE!!! It was clear as a bell what happened, they pointed a gun in the dude's face, he shot them, end of story. It was justified. The families were crying out about how their "poor babies" were good kids and didn't deserve to be shot "in cold blood". The one's parent commented on how he was just trying to get money for child support.... (umm... any job is better than robbery... hello?) They blamed the guy who shot their kid saying it was his fault. Hello? Your kid was robbing an innocent store clerk at gun point and then proceeded to put a gun in the face of a passerby. They POINTED A GUN IN THE DUDE'S FACE!!! You point a gun in someone's face, and you get shot, you deserve what you got, I don't care what color you are. How about accepting the fact your kid fucked up and that's why they're dead, instead of blaming someone else for their law breaking? Yeah, I imagine being a parent that's gotta be one of the worst pains ever. But I'm sorry, if my child pointed a gun in someone's face and got killed, that's their fault, their decision, their consequence. I would be devastated, but if anything I'd be asking myself where I went wrong, not blaming someone who was defending themselves!?
*sigh*
If you've made it this far, thank you. I don't have all of the answers. I don't know everything. But what I do know, is nothing is going to change unless we all work together. You are not going to get rid of hate if you continue to hate, and teach hate to your children. Children are not born knowing hated, it's taught. It takes one person to make a change. For every one person that stands up and refuses to hate and refuses to teach hate, that paves the way for even more. And no, I'm not living in some sort of fantasy land. No, I don't know what it's like to be black, the only thing I know is how blacks are actually seen by myself and people I've come across. Are there hate groups? Yeah, but they represent such a small number it's crazy. Just like all blacks aren't criminals, or all Hispanics aren't illegal immigrants, not all whites are racist, and in reality, those racists, criminals and illegals are such a small minority. Not as lesser beings, as human beings. If all you do is blame everyone else, if all you do is hate, you're going to have a harder time in fighting what injustice there is in this nation today. It's sad we live in a nation in which our own politicians and officials cannot accept responsibility for their own mistakes, and pass that onto the masses. Nothing in this country is going to change unless we stand up. We all need to stand up and take responsibility for our own mistakes and our own shit. "Hey, this dude fucked up, this is a sad lesson." and move on. Or, if indeed there was an injustice, I'm right beside you fellow human. You're not the only ones being "murdered" by police, more whites are killed by police than blacks, it just doesn't make the news. It's almost as if we don't matter, it's not really newsworthy if it's a white person apparently. No one screams out when that happens when it was an injustice. We don't have advocates standing up for us. There is no one to stand up for those of us who are victims of hate crimes by blacks, we're completely alone there. Hell, I was raped by a black man. Do I blame black people? No. Do I hate black people? No, again, my "lil' bro" is black and one of the most amazing people I've ever known and I love him like a brother. And no, none of that was a "oh pity the poor white folk" statement. I'm just trying to say that while circumstances for any of us are not 100% the same, you are not alone. You are not struggling alone. You are not the only ones being killed unjustly, or treated unjustly.
No I cannot understand what it is like to be black anymore than you can understand what it's like on my "side of the fence" as well, and contrary to what it seems a lot of blacks want to think, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. I'm not saying by any means we have it any better or worse than you, it's just different. I am in no way trivializing any of the things that have happened to your people. Whitey is not out to get you! You are not the only slaves. You are not the only victims of genocide (off the top of my head, the Armenians and Jews would like to speak with you on that). You are not the only victims of oppression (it's happened to Christians, Muslims, Pagans, all sorts of people!). Stop allowing yourself to be a continual victim, segregating yourselves and realize you're not alone, and you're not the only ones to have ever gone through these things.
