Merry Christmas!!

Ahhh Christmas Eve.  The time of year where people are supposed to be in the holiday spirit.  A time of giving, a time of caring, a time of loving, a time for family.  At least, that's how it should be.  You'd think that maybe... just maybe... people could put aside their own crap and be kind to one another.  Maybe people would get tired of doing nothing but bitch about stuff all year but nooooo.  I mean, aside from people all but murdering each other to save a few bucks on gifts during all the "holiday deals", you have people getting butthurt over the way you choose to wish them well.

"Joyous Kwanza to you!"
"Joyous Kwanza?!? YOU BARBARIAN!  HOW DARE YOU! I AM A CHRISTIAN I AM OFFENDED!"

Really people?  I honestly don't give a shit how you wish me well over this holiday season.  I don't care if you say "Joyous Kwanza", "Happy Hanukkah", "Merry Christmas", "Happy Winter Solstice" or whatever... if you're taking the time out of your day to wish me well, I'm going to wish you well right back, and I am not going to be offended as to how you choose to wish me well.  That's part of the beauty of this country... we're allowed to have different beliefs and different views and different religions... but that does not mean that your beliefs or views are any more or less important than my own, nor mine yours.  Anyone who would get offended by something like that needs one of those government issued helmets I suggested previously.  Get over yourselves. But I digress...

Part of what I have a problem with is what people choose to find important to bitch and get all up in arms about.  Like this recent holiday commercial.  Hell look at the comments!!!  Referring to the ad as "disgusting" and an "abomination" and talking of boycotting K-Mart.  Really?!?! Over that?!?!  I'll link the video if you don't feel like reading the article... and I'm doing that mostly because I freaking love this commercial!  I mean seriously... it's like one of my favorite commercials.

"This commercial is disgusting! What if it comes on and *gasp* my children are around?!?"

So fucking what?!!  You mean to tell me that this commercial is worse than the Herbal Essence commercials featuring women having freaking orgasms on airplanes or wherever?!?!  That this commercial is worse than the perfume ads or other commercials where there's two people practically doing the horizontal polka (that's "fornicating" or "fucking" for anyone who doesn't know)?!?  What about the vibrator commercials?!?  *ahem* Err.. I'm sorry... my agent is advising me that they're "personal massagers", my bad. You cannot tell me with a straight face that this most excellent K-Mart commercial is worse than any of those commercials. I'd like to know where in the hell is the uproar over those commercials being "inappropriate" for children?!  Actually please... no more uproars over stupid shit. Here's an even better suggestion... how about... instead of getting in an uproar over the K-Mart commercial, you *gasp* actually monitor what you have on your own damn television when your kids are around and quit worrying about what's on mine?  Change the channel?  Turn the TV off period?  I could totally understand if they actually showed the man-parts... or had women kneeling in front of the guys bobbing their heads to the tune in getting upset about it, but this?

What about Disney movies?  There are so many Disney movies with adult humor in them.  You know, things that adults will catch onto but a child's innocent mind will not.  Disney movies have been that way for as long as I can remember. I grew up with Disney movies, and I can tell you for a fact that there were things in them I did not pick up on as a child, that I do now as an adult if I see them.  Was I emotionally scarred? Newp. Not one bit.

"Mommy, why are those guys shaking their butts like that?"

There's two basic types of answers for this, if a child even seems to be that concerned about it anyway:

"Well my precious angel, they're trying to show these men as jingling their evil man-balls against their legs to make a song and promote sex... and sex is the devil"  or

"Oh child, they're just shaking it to the Christmas song!"

 Why is there even an uproar period?  Oh right, we're supposed to be sheltering our children from anything even remotely related to sex or sexy parts or violence or whatever.  Now before you jump down my throat follow me here for a moment.  Have a seat on my couch and prop your feet up, take some deep breaths.  Would you like some tea or something?  Comfy?  Ok.  Now, by remotely I mean like... let's say the evil, sexual violent stuff we don't want our children to be exposed to is in Washington D.C. (see what I did there? tee-hee).  This commercial, or that other TV show or whatever else these people find to bitch about, is in Spain. Are they close?  Not at all.  Could they be connected?  I'm sure they could, but it would take a lot of work and one major gigantic ass bridge... or monorail... or underwater tunnel... whatever. 

At any rate, with the Disney movies I grew up on and the "violent" cartoons, I ended up being totally fine! (Some may argue that point, and hell even I might sometimes but really... it did not negatively impact me as I grew up and became an adult.)  Stop babying our children and trying to shelter them from anything you deem could potentially traumatize them.  Now I'm not saying we should tape their eyelids open and subject them to hardcore BDSM porn, or watching live autopsies or people getting abused or tortured.  I could understand people getting up in arms about the Herbal Essence commercials or the other ones where there's naked or near naked people all but making out/nibbling on necks/whatever far more easily than I could this one.  But even at that, and at the end of the day, if you wish to shelter your precious little snowflakes that much, how about turning off the damn TV or actually *gasp* doing some parenting and you know... know what the hell your child is watching on TV? Restrict channels?  I guarantee you they've seen or heard far worse at school or at their friends house.  I knew what sex was way before either of my parents ever talked to me about it. Start being a parent and stop expecting the rest of the world to parent for you... and get the hell over yourself.  Shoot, I think I may start a charity. I'll start collecting donations to begin purchasing helmets for all you super special people who think you're more important than the rest of us.

If you're reading this blog, you're probably not one of those people anyway.  Those of you who actually read any of the stuff I write at this point in time I probably already know personally, and you are all amazing people and I love every one of you.  Even any new people that may read this, as long as you're not one of those people, I love you too! But if you happen to be one of those people and somehow stumbled across my little corner of the internet, I have a message for you:

Get over yourselves. Take your pompous, greedy ass and get off our planet.  You are no better than me, the person to your left, the man who sold you cigarettes or gas at the 7-11, the girl who took your order at the restaurant trying to make her way through college or feed her child, the guy who fixed your car or the one who came to fix your pipes, or the person who one day will hopefully eventually remove your head from your anus.  Just because something offends you, or you don't like something, or share the same set of beliefs doesn't mean that you have the right to try to take that shit away from the people who do enjoy whatever it is. Don't like heavy metal music?  Don't listen to it.  Don't like carrots?  Don't eat them. Don't like a TV show? (I am suddenly experiencing a case of deja-vu here)  Change the channel.  Don't like gay marriage?  Don't be gay and get married.  Don't believe in contraception? Don't use it.  The world does not revolve around you.  You are not a special snowflake, and neither are your children.  We all share this planet, stop being so fucking miserable and scroogy.

And lastly... if someone takes the time out of their day to wish you a Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Winter Solstice or whatever... it does not matter what your religion is.  These people are wishing you well, smile and realize this and accept it for what it is... a well wish, and nothing more... and wish them well back.  Even if we were all psychic and knew what your particular holiday affiliation is, the world does not revolve around you... we all (again) share this planet... ya dig?  Oh, and if you actually got offended by any of this, you're probably one of the very people I'm talking about.  So please... please remove your head from your posterior and maybe do something kind for someone else for a change.  It feels good, and I promise that by putting yourself aside for once and doing something kind, even if it's just a few words, to bring a smile to someone else's face will not cause you to melt, spontaneously combust, get struck by lighting, eaten by a bear, sucked into an airplane engine, or anything else bad.

And to the rest of you amazing people, I hope you all and your families have a very Happy Christmakwanzahanukkah and New Year!!  Please stay awesome!  <3

Six vs. Sixteen, Why Are Six Year Olds Held to Higher Standards?

I guess I'm just going to be blunt here, but what the bloody hell is wrong with our society? I had some posts I wanted to do that were more light and, I guess just more bizarre and out there, but recent events just can't be ignored.  What kind of world are we living in where a 16 year old can get away with killing four people and injuring others, but we hold 6 year olds accountable and charged with sexual harassment for kissing a girl on the hand / cheek?

Unless you've been living under a rock (which is sounding more and more appealing every day) I'm sure you've heard about the texas teen who killed four people and only got probation because of "affluenza". If you haven't heard about it and for whatever reason don't feel like clicking on the link, here's the basic rundown.  Sixteen year old Ethan Couch was with two friends as he stole two cases of beer from Wal-Mart, got smashed (3x's the legal limit for someone who's OF age to drink and he had traces of valium in his system), drove his father's company's truck at 70mph in a 40mph zone and slammed into four people and killed them.  One of the two people riding with Ethan has brain damage so severe he's basically a vegetable and can't move or talk, and the other just had massive internal injuries and numerous broken bones... no biggie right?  I mean his parents let him start driving at 13 illegally, and when he was just but a year younger at 15, he was cited by police for being found parked in a pickup with a passed out and naked 14 year old and wasn't punished by his parents at all so he totally shouldn't be held accountable for killing four people drinking and driving right?  At least that's what the "psychologist" his lawyer hired said.  He said that Ethan was a victim of wealth and "affluenza" and has never been held accountable for his actions so he couldn't possibly have felt there would be any consequence for stealing booze and getting shit faced and crashing into and killing four people.  The judge apparently agreed, even though she didn't directly mention "affluenza" and only gave him 10 years of probation... for killing 4 people...

I can't really wrap my head around that.  The judge basically agreed he's never been held accountable for anything in his life and therefore wouldn't have had the foresight to think "Hey! Getting completely shitfaced and driving could injure or kill me and other people! I should just stay in and not drive!"  Ten year olds understand drinking and driving is illegal and bad! So what does she do?  Let him off basically with no punishment at all and doesn't hold him accountable for his actions!  Ok, ok.  He didn't totally go unpunished.  He's not being allowed to return with his parents, they're making him go to some sort of private one on one rehabilitation facility that's gonna run his pops like... $450,000 a year or something.  And get this... can you just imagine for a moment how terrible it would be to be sent to such a place?!?!  With it's location being on the beach and having to participate in *gasp* equine therapy?!?!?  THE HORROR!!!  Being forced to be away from your parents at 16, staying at a house on the beach and having to ride horses!  Who am I kidding... shit send me there I got my bags packed already!  But if you're going to say he was not responsible because of his environment and upbringing, are you going to start letting gang-bangers get away with shit too because they're a product of their environment?  Or how about the poor kid who's parent was an alcoholic, so they thought boozing was ok, got drunk, drove and killed someone... are they not responsible because of their environment as well?

 (Granted this isn't the exact rehab place but this image will do for now)

Even more appalling... well ok I'm not sure it's more appalling, but equally maybe?  Were some of the comments on that link I posted up there.  People were actually bringing race into it (all people involved were white) and saying it's only the evil rich white people who get away with shit.  Uhhhh OJ?  Zimmerman (come on he was half Hispanic).  And I'm quite sure if I wasn't so lazy right now there's plenty of other rich non-whites that have gotten away with shit because they have money.  There's tons of kids with parents who aren't wealthy or rich who spend years in jail for way less than killing four people.  People blamed politics.  People actually commented and said "Well how can he be held responsible? I've gotten drunk and blacked out so how could he have possibly been aware enough to recognize this as being a bad idea to drink and drive?"  What the bloody hell happened that no one accepts responsibility for anything anymore?  It's always someone else's fault. Hell our government won't even admit if they made a mistake, and I'm sure that's but a small part of the no accountability problem.  People said "We should make the driving age 18, that'll help it!"  Hell... I got my license at 16.  I drank underage. But guess what? I never killed anyone.  Why? I knew drinking and driving was bad and very dangerous and stayed the hell inside when I got smashed.

Then on the other hand we're holding 6 year olds charged with sexual harassment for kissing a girl on the cheek / hands, a 7 year old suspended for chewing a pop-tart into the shape of a gun, or the 10 year old who was suspended for pretending to shoot an imaginary bow and arrow at a friend? Shoot when I was in elementary school, there was a boy in school who had a crush on me, tackled me to the ground and kissed my cheek and ran off.  I wasn't traumatized!!  And who of us "older folk" has never played cops and robbers or anything similar? Shit I'd be willing to bet if you asked any of those kids if drinking and driving was good or bad to do, they'd even be able to tell you drinking and driving is wrong and bad!  I'm sure they could also tell you that cops and robbers is pretend and that killing people in real life is bad!  You can't tell me Ethan didn't understand what he was doing was wrong.  And yet, even though supposedly the reason he made that choice... to go out and steal booze, and go drinking and driving was because his parents never punished him or made him learn there are consequences to our actions, he still really has been given no consequence for his decision, and once again does not have to pay a price for taking the lives of four people.  I only hope when he fucks up his probation over the next ten years (and he probably will) and gets locked up, some other innocent person doesn't lose their life too.